So much angst

Welcome dear body to another day where everything feels like stone.
I figured I probably need to sleep at 10pm everyday to feel like a million dollars the next day, else no matter what time I sleep, I probably feel like crap unless I wake up at noon.

Anyway I have been feeling super irritated these days. I hate working with incompetent people. I hate it that people complain about their work all the time and whole day say they want to go on holiday. I want to go on holiday tooo, but I do my fair share of work. These people want to quit but are hanging on cos there is a possible chance of a trip to somewhere in the coming months, then they quit right after.

Dang has been really busy of late so its also getting irritating that he is mostly dead tired. I think I am just short fuse these days. Maybe its the mooncakes, I only like Raffles hotel cognac mini snowskin mooncake,  but people keep sending substandard mooncakes to the office and my colleagues keep forcing me to eat them. With the exception of Raffles hotel mooncakes, I hate all other mooncakes. Why force me to eat them. I want my gelatos not mooncakes. We should have a Gelato festival or something instead.

Of day and night.

So, I stopped playing lemmings and by right should be wide awake today since I slept  7 hours yesterday. But but but, my head is still fuzzy.
Today my colleague came back from her holiday and started polluting my mind about how the grass is greener on the other side. Seriously, I am so sick of such things. I know my pay is not necessary the highest but hearing about such things just make you distracted and sad. I do not need such crap. Work is one thing but there are other aspects of my life I want to be happy with. I need to start finding myself a passion. Swimming hardly qualifies cos you can only swim once a day.

I had the strangest dream last night. This guy (I have no idea who), but it seems like I was in a relationship with him. So, this guy had a ring and it seemed like he was trying to propose to me, so he came really close to me and I deliberately drop the ring on the floor. The ring was like rolling around and people around me were gushing because a diamond is hard to find on the floor. I was shocked too cos I didn't want to be responsible for the lost of the ring. Eventually someone found it and  gave it to him. Then as he came closer to me, I took the ring and place it back in his hand, telling him it was just not meant to be. I could feel sadness as I did so. Then, I ran off and my good girlfriends followed. Again, I  had no idea who these girls are, they didn't even resemble anyone I know in real life. They were like shocked but erupted into merry making to cheer me up and we decided to tour the world. I think my dream stopped there or I woke up.

It was really strange.

Things that I hate

I hate it when I procrasinate because I get very pissed with myself and I don't like it. I hate it that I keep thinking of the long overdue task when I should be enjoying myself.

I hate it when everyone around me is so busy you have to arrange for outings months ahead. I hate it when everyone does not keep time. A dinner date should start on time. Rubber time is no good.

 

I hate it that people only come to you when they need help. I hate it when poeple take you for granted. I hate it that people have to multitask and schedule so many things at the same time. I hate it when I trudge through Mondays to Fridays. I hate it worse when I realised midweek that the week is going too slowly. I hate it that you have to play tennis with two people. Why can't every tennis court have a practising wall.

 

I hate it that weekends are so short.

Monday Monday....

Only monday morning and it has been a slurry of activities. Already mentally strangled some of my colleagues many times over.
Its too exhausting to describe the events but I cannot believe how dense some people can get.

My stomach is all knotted up again and the new toilet at the new office is not very conducive for shitting. Firstly there is this stupid motion sensor that is supposed to keep the light on. Problem is that it goes off every 10 sec. So, you either wave ur hands frantically every 10s, or shit in the dark. If you are in the cubicle further away, there is no way you can activate the motion sensor.

Thank goodness its almost noon and I am going to swim. I am a little against the hot sunthough. I hope its shady.

 

Back!

Back Back Back! In Fact back for a week.

LA was a mess, minus Disney the happiest place on earth. Even Disney, I felt Tokyo’s Disney was much better. The staff were more polite and I felt happier.

Vegas was good. Won Money at the penny machines and Grand Canyon was just humbling. The 5 hr drive to and fro was killing though. I never driven so much so fast in my life.

 

Back to the routine of work. We have a new office now. I am still undecided on how I feel about my new seat. Right in front of me is this huge red pillar that blocks my entire view. To my left is this big hole that leads to the pantry. I try to position myself so that I am in between these two structures and can see some view. My colleague next to me types too loud and it is irritating me. My boss is very near me now and my stingy office manager is of hearing distance too. I suspect they can hear my phone conversations. Have to be extra careful now.

 

Although I just got back, I would not mind traveling again. Not too sure if I can take leave. I have like 30 days of leave. There are so many places I want to go.

Yeah only 2 more nights in Austin!l

then, I am off to LA and Vegas. I hope the trip would be fun. I mean, afterall I am so sick of the US of A. I wonder why anyone will come here long term.
Yesterday I met up with my project mentor again, and I felt like bashing him. After the longest time of getting the fact that sg is not part of China into thick skull. He exclaimed,  "How come this is in English?" when I showed him newspaper cutting of The Strait Times.  I wanted to knock his head. Helllo, please do your research. I later sent him the Wikipedia entry of Sg for him to read, if he reads. I wanted to tell him that we probably have a much higher literacy rate than his country, and that we cane americans who come and vandalise our property. Such a kok.

I do not like classical music.

So, I been going out with the Korean guy because I rather he drive. It is so pathetic. He plays the oboe and he actually brought his classic CDs here and he has been playing them in the car all the time. Its getting on my nerves. Then, I have no idea why he is so uptightek can about time. Its like I tell him meet at 11am, he has to call me at 1045am to ask me again. So duh. Then whenever we go out, he just wants to return to the hotel asap. I have half the mind to abandon him. He behaves like this other hongkong guy I know. Kinda glad to start work tomorrow so that the week can pass faster. 1 month here is too long.

Big things.

Yes, I am still here. There is nothing much to do except what terror warnings repeatedly on TV. I hope things are not as bad when I go back. I do not want to miss my flight. I went to the grocery store yesterday, the chips I wanted were on the top shelf, and you know what... I couldn't reach the shelve at all. I jumped and jumped but still couldn't reach it. Thats how c giangantic things are.

My laptop is cranky too. Its hard to type. The cursor jumps back 4 words every 5 words. So, I keep having to retype. Then, I cannot move the laptop. I cannot on it after I transport the laptop. So duh.

I wonder if I am homesick yet..

So, I am out of the country and I get sms saying that my blog was quoted on Digital Times. Ahha.  I didn't even get to see the article!

Obviously, I went to check my google analytics to see if there is any spike in traffice. So, I got about 65% new readers, thankfully  u readership isn't too high. Else, i have to be start being careful about what I write, because if you know me, you will know its me.

 

Yup, I am in US now, the land where everything is super big but nowhere as nice as Singapore. I love my country man. I hear there is late night shopping now and tons of fireworks going on. There is absoutley nothing to do here. Driving on the other side of the road is a tad scary,  and I hate it that the signs are so tiny, or blocked by some big trees and that everything is on the right.

 

K, the internet sucks here, so thats it and I'll be back in a month!

Gone 3D2N

I am going to our neighboring country for boot camp *crys*
Actually for my company's team building, but after I took a look at the photos I think its more like boot camp.
Doing orientation games that are sooooo outdated, leaving in so-called chalets that are in the middle of the jungle. Grass, Mud, Insects everywhere. You get the picture. The kinda days where your underwear is never dry cos you constantly get thrown into the murky yellow brown river water.  Yucks.
WhywhydoIstillhavetodoallthesewhenIhaveoutgrownthisstage???? *wails*

 

I am Singaporean

Inspired by Mr Brown

My name is Handsel and it doesn't mean anything.

I live in Singapore and studied here all my life.
I followed through the competitive, merciless education system, emerging a graduate with little sense of the future.
I take the MRT everywhere, now I can repeat the terrorist warning messages in English, Mandarin, Malay and even Tamil (at least the numbers 999).
I love the national flag, and can recite the pledge in both English and Mandarin.
I sing Majulah Singapura proudly, although I do not understand what the malay words mean.
I read every sign in all three languages and stare hard at the Tamil words, hoping one day I will recognise the word 'Fine'.

I love my country and hate being mistaken for nationalities that I am not.
I silently sing Kit Chan's "Home" and queue proudly at the "Singaporean-Welcome Home" lane when I am back at the best airport in the world.
I am afraid to say my real name incase I kena the sedition act and I am a Singaporean.
So say we all

Of cars, buses and helis....

Yawn Yawn Yawn. Yet again, I am falling asleep.

I have been so bothered by details of planning for LA and LV that I'm frustrating myself.
And to think I was never a 'need to know all the details' person. I think some people I know will hyperventilate over this. *winks*

Having said that, I think it is still important to know my itinerary in general and how I am supposed to get from place to place.
Things like whether driving makes more sense, or getting a bus, or taking an expensive helicopter ride. If moolah were aplenty, things would be easier. However, I feel it will be stupid if unnecessary money is spent when it could have been saved with a little more research.

Now, the plan is to tentatively drive from LA to LV, then drive the next day to Grand Canyon. Easy enough right.

Here comes the part that complicates the whole thing,  my flight back home is from LA at noon. So, I have to make that 6 hours drive, more if I get lost, back.  Plus time to check in, this means I have to start driving at a ridiculous 3am in the morning. This makes paying for an extra hotel night so dumb. Oh, did I mention that I so wisely booked my hotels already?

Either I drive at 3am, or take the 1am bus, which makes more sense because its safer and less tiring.  Then, the money factor comes in because it is cheaper to get a round ticket trip instead of a single ticket. See how this totally negates my initial plan of driving.

Confusing right.

and, I yet to check out the car rental rates, bus schedules, helicopter trips......

 

Time..

Sometimes I think time isn't enough.
I left the office at 8pm last night. It was not too late though. In fact, I deliberately waited for 8pm to leave. I had finished my swim at 720 and figuring it makes no sense to go back at that time, I went back to the office to read the newspapers.
So, I reached home at 8.15pm. Dinner and it was like 9pm when I was done. Watched a bit of the shows my brother recorded for me and it was 10pm.
10pm was desperate housewife time. Mull over my claims , surf for hotels, at 11pm and it was like time for bed.
Crazy, I felt like I had no time to myself. You may disagree, but I hate it when I am too tired to even read.  I didn't need to bath because I did that before going home.

So, I resolved to leave office at like 7pm latest today.

But, my mum's incessant nagging when she sent me to work today made me change my mind. If I could freely surf and do my general administrative stuff in the office. I will finish it all and go home only for dinner. My mum is downright ridiculous. She happily spins stories and starts believing in it and accusing the whole world. Sometimes I wonder why I keep pushing off plans for the next overseas trip with her. I am not sure if I can take it.

Now I understand why I hardly miss home when I am travelling. And, lets see what time I will leave the office today.

 

From LA to LV...

Am planning to go LA then LV.
Anyone has any tips for me. Which hotel is good?
I have been surfing and I am looking at Ramada Inn Hollywood in LA and Harrah Hotel and Casino LV.

Looking at not too pricey hotels, but I do not mind paying a bit more if the location is good. No point paying for a really cheap hotel and then paying through the throat for transporation.

And, how do I get from LA to LV? Someone told me drive. I googled and saw that there are bus trips but the timings will prob not make it in time for my flight. My flight is at LA airport.

Advice Advice anyone?

Finally back.

I am finally back after 1 week in Penang and 1 week in KL.
I had enough of Msia, nothing beats being back in your own country.
The trees look greener, the ground cleaner and the sun brighter.

Am so tired. Even after sleeping for 12 hours. I love my country.

Lunch is exciting.

Lunch was an eyeopening affair today.
One of my Thai colleague was telling us about his gf, and then revealing that he/she is transsexual. We were like gaping in astonishment when he went on to graphically describe their sex life. He claims that the girl/guy can have orgasms I was like huh, really ah. If he had been a better looking guy, I might have been so grossed out but he is like pimply, in short ugly.

Then, another colleague received a present from our Thai colleague, It was a dildo/vibrator. Seriously, I have no idea whats the difference although she claimed there is. Woa, it was like rubbery, kinda thick and big in my opinion, it was like weird feeling it. I cannot imagine stuffing something like that into myself just to climax.

I am not particularly conservative but I am still reeling from the whole experience. *shugs*

 

In reality,

730am: I woke up and stared at my phone. Turns over to look at Alboy and he is deep in sleep
731am: Fell back to sleep
800am: I woke up again. Turns over to look at Alboy and he is deep in sleep
801am: Fell back to sleep
830am: I woke up again. Turns over to look at Alboy and he is deep in sleep
831am: Fell back to sleep
845 am: He finally stirs and went to wash up.
846am: Since I could not do anything, I fell back to sleep again.
915am: I woke up and washed up
930am: Left the house
1015am: Arrived at Redstart
1115am: Paid the bill. It was pouring heavily so Alboy immediately fell back into slumber in the backseat of the car.
1145am: We drove off.
1215pm: Both of us fell asleep in the car at his workplace carpark
1pm: Alboy woke up to start work and I continued sleeping

Amazing eh, I am so amazed at myself at how I/we sleep.

 

The plan

730am : Alboy wakes up and starts washing up
800am: I wake up
845am: Reach Red Star
1000am: Finish Breakfast

Isn't it great to have everything done by 10am.
Then, we can laze around, town, catch a movie. nap. Nice.

However, what most likely will happen
730am : Sleeping
800am : Sleeping
845am : Still Sleeping
1000am: Still Sleeping
1200pm: Waking up
1230pm: Wake up and start to wash up
1pm: Alboy is still washing up
1.30pm: Alboy dresses
2pm: Leave for Redstar
3pm: Reach Redstar for breakfast just as it is packing up

Well, I'm not exaggerating Such things has happened before because Alboy and me are such deep sleepers. We belong to the rare breed who can sleep for 16 hours straight even after sleeping a full 24 hours prior to that.

Lets see, and I will update on Monday how things go.

 

Smile and show your teeth!

So, my nose has been leaking non stop for 2 days now. My lungs feel so clogged up. Its crazy and I haven't swam for 3 days. I bet I just lost all my stamina. It happens when I go under the weather. I need to weight myself. I wonder if I lost weight.

Recently I  been told that I grind my teeth at night when I sleep. Alboy told me it was this hideous loud grinding noise. Of course, I dismissed him. One week later, my dentist asked me the same question. Apparently there are some tell tale marks on the inner side of my cheeks. Damnit. Now, I either risked my teeth eroding or I have to wear a guard to sleep. Like a muzzled dog. My dentist told me to monitor the problem - I wonder how, I wouldn't know if I grind my teeth in my sleep eh.

I  been exceptionally conscious of it since then. I loosen my jaws before I sleep. However the thing is, my jaws feel extremely tight when I wake up and I am pretty sure I grinded them in my sleep. Alboy says the trick is to stuff a carrot into my mouth at night.

As if that is not enough, I have recessed gums too. That leads to my dentine being exposed and thus the most painful sensation everytime I been eating sweet food. For the longest time, I thought I  had a cavity and all my dentist tell me otherwise. So, now its because my gums are recessed. Sounding like an old woman eh. I now have to use a soft toothbrush and a sensitized toothpaste. I been using a whitening toothpaste which I shouldn't because it will cause the gums to recess even faster. Crap, how to have white shinning teeth like that??

Give me a break. I'm not that old to have all these teeth woes.

 

Alas, the guilt of work

I was expecting myself to type. It feels great, but instead I think I will do a - It feels strange.

Yes, my weak self gave in and I took MC today. It wasn't all that unjustifable. I had been having this nagging pain in my throat for about a week. Yesterday, I felt slightly feverish as if I might fall sick. That however did not happen and I broke out of it before I went to bed last night. This morning, I simply lost all motivation to work. In fact, I debated about it for a precious 20 mins at 7am this morning, ultimately convincing myself that it was no harm. Afterall, I had not taken a single day of leave or mc since the start of the year.

This time I did not have to wait 1 hr for my mc, since I had fully grasp the routiness of the doctor's schedule. I went right before he closed for lunch and waited only 15mins. The doc was a bit of a strange thing. He actually gave me an MC for tomorrow instead of today, and argued with the nurse when I pointed it out.

I dutifully spent the whole day sleeping after finishing the last chapter of "The rule of four". Not a recommended read. Perhaps its because the book is authored by 2, that makes the flow somewhat strange. It never fails to amaze me how much I can sleep. I ate dinner on a full stomach and feel werid.

Perhaps, I should have just taken mon and tue off and scotted off to hk with missy y. Alas, the guilt of work.

Am planning to take next friday off, however, I have a feeling I might be on standby for an event and that my leave will not materialise.

GSS is starting, when does Club 21 start it sales? I saw some oh so pretty but pricey stuff, the stuff that is only worth buying during a sale.