.

Song of the day - "Baby baby hit me one more time"
Fwah- yes, I shall stop lamenting.

Knock me on my head.

I need to be knocked on the head.

Just on monday and tuesday, I was in this semi-conscious state, falling back into slumber every 10minutes or so. I slept like 16 hours a day I think. I told myself, this is not good, I need to go back to work. I even went on to think, thank goodness the next p.holiday is christmas.

Please bash me up today.

The horrid feeling of peeling myself out of the bed at 730am is just too much. I am so not a morning person. I blame the humid weather for making me think that way in the past two days. If the weather were cooler, I prob have no qualms lying in bed the whole day.

I finished book 11 of lemoney snicket and can't wait to know what happens in the end.  I am half tempted to buy the whole series. Its 160 a set. Its quite ok considering there are 13 books. What puts me off is that I know that if I wait, there is prob going to be a 20%, 30% discount some time soon. Also, I already have book 1,2,3, 11, albeit in a different cover. Plus, I know the fact is that my irritating siblings are prob going to rip the collect apart, that happened to CS Lewis and all the other collections I have. I would hesitate less if I have my own place, my own library.

I want to be the 4 in 10

Headlines in ST today were to make p.transport so good that 'My other car is public transport'

 

To that I say, "Xiao eh"

 

Our transport minister must have never taken p.transport on a regular basis. I hate people who make/says such comments.

 

Till today, except for the super rich people that say, oooh I don't need a car because the MRT is so convenient, everyone else wants a car!

 

IMHO, the public transport no matter how fantastic it becomes will never compare to having your own transport.

 

Imagine these scenarios,

 

Would you rather wake up 1 hr early every morning, stand on the train with smelly bodies squashed against you for one whole hour every single working day of your life,  or, sleep in and drive in heavy traffic to your workplace. If it rains, its ok because you park in an underground carpark. With p.transport, good luck to you.

 

Would you rather take the train, carry 1 litre of water everywhere or drive and leave the water in your car. I have to drink a lot of water so I get very frustrated when I have to carry my water around. Firstly, I need a big enough bag to dump my nalgene in, the 500ml one, plus water is really heavy. Oh say, you want to go for a swim/tennis/some random sports before meeting your friends, would you want to lug all your gear around in p.transport.  Fwah, hell no.

 

The shuttle bus from the mrt takes 30mins(not inclusive of waiting time)  to reach my house. A car trip takes 5mins. Would you still want to take p.transport?

 

After you are dead tired from a long day, do you still want to stand 1 hr on p.transport. 1hr is the average time it takes to get to anywhere from my place. You stand on the train/bus, jerking forward backward as the train moves, your bag becomes increasingly heavier.

 

Yup, driving can get maddening when the road jams up. You hear drivers complain abt the horrid jams every morning. These people have driven too much too long that they forgot what it is like to take p.transport. Next time you hear someone complain, just ask them. would you want to take p.transport instead. What makes you think buses do not crawl in the traffic too. The yellow lane thingy makes only a slight difference, that is if you can squeeze your way up the bus first. So many times buses have zoom past me because they were overloaded.

 

Sigh, these ministers. They probably did so well in life they forgot what it is like to take p.transport. Its ridiculous really.

Whatever, keep doing your job and hopefully when I finally own my set of wheels, the road will be totally free for me. The other 6 in 10 people can go take the train to work.

Where have all the dogs gone??

Its was really strange.

I been walking around in orchard and I always notice people decked in the latest designer wear, carrying handbags that cost 1k a pop, perfectly manicured nails and oh-so-diva hair. There seems to be so many of these people all around. Majority of them are young, probably plus minus my age. I always wonder how these people manage it all. Its either they were born rich, willing to spend, doing very well in their careers, or just people like me maybe except that they are more willing to spend.

 

Today, I came to the conclusion that they probably were all born rich. Its really crazy. I took the train from expo all the way back west, on the whole journey I did not even see a single designer wear on the train. ziltch. Totally Ziltch. Do all these people drive? or take cabs? Maybe my timing was a bit early for fancy people to arrive but still, totally none. What I see on the train is familes wearing sandals you buy from the heartland, pvc worn out bags, tired faces.

 

On a side note, I bought or rather Alboy bought the game Articulate. Now, lets gather a few people and play!

Barks Howls Bites

I am so blooooooody pisssed.
I hate people who rummage through my stuff. I hate people who don't give me the privacy I need. I hate people who happily draw conclusions based on whatever they conjure from rummaging through my stuff. I hate people who talks too loudly. I hate people who don't listen. I hate people who thinks they are super ill treated when they are not. I hate people that compare apples to oranges. I hate people who work as if they have monument tasks when I see minimal output. I hate people who make negative comments on stuff they have no part in. I hate people who behave overly flustered because it irritates me the whole day to see them 'dash' in and out with a pursed look on their face. I hate having to smile and say hi to people. I hate people assuming as if having to care for everyone is my responsibility. I hate people making a mountain out of fa molehill when in actual fact it does not make any difference. I hate that I am feeling this week is getting too long. I hate people saying that swimming is fun. It is not, its my kind of activity and I swim cos I really enjoy it not cos its fun. You cannot say its fun when you do not even know how to peddle in water. I am in such a bad mood today. Fuck Fuck Fuck

 

It must be the hormones

I'm in a really foul mood. I have no idea why too, in fact I shouldn't be but I can't help feeling totally foul.

I just took a $25 cab ride. Thats what happened at the end. So, it happened like this. Alboy was totally exhausted and took a 'nap' after agreeing to sending me back home after that. He was impossible to joslt awake, so I offered to take a cab home myself. I really don't mind because I do not do it very often and I know that he is really very tired.

He told me to call a cab but I refuse, I always do because I feel it is pointless because there are always so many cabs just a short 3-4 min walk away. I'm a bit anal at having to pay extra for cabs that are already so expensive. I left and walked myself out. It wasn't a very well lighted road but I was fine. However somehow my mood was starting to get crappy. Its a girl thing, you say no but if no really happens, reality bites and its painful. The difference is, I know I said no so I had no right to complain.

On an ordinary night, it would have been the end of the story and I would hop onto the cab on my way home. Not tonight though.

After walking for a minute, I realised that having spent almost 40 bucks on cab the previous day, I might not have enough money for midnight charge. I checked my wallet and I only had $15 left. I definately do not have enough money. It usually cost about $14 without the midnight charge.

What to do? I called Alboy and told him I had no money and wanted to loan from him. I was even ready to walk back, he didn't even have to walk out. Somehow I think he heard me wrongly and replied in a most irriated tone, "I already told you to call a cab".

That totally tripped me. We have never agreed on the calling of cab issue. He always call a cab and thinks I should. To me, its just a waste of money. I bet he thinks I am trying to be misery, something along that line.

I retorted, told him nevermind and hung up. He tried calling twice but I hung him up. I switched my phone off after that. Somehow, irrational as it may sound, something inside me just flipped.

I took a deep breath as I analysed my dire situation. Alone, dark, no money and now too proud to ask for help. I walked and walked and rembering that now all Esso stations have ATM in them, I walked towards an Esso. I thought I was saved.

BUT, as if to mock me, the atm was 'temporaily out of service' when I reached Esso. If the aem were human, I would have given it two tight slaps. Whats the point of an atm if it does not spit money out. Fwah.

I went back onto the road and started walking, before I decide that I should just flag a cab and hop in. Suddenly, it dawned onto me that I could pay by credit card. So, I flagged a cab, make sure with the driver I could pay by card and hop on in. Afterall, I heard so many horror stories of how cab drivers refuse to accept card. The uncle was unbeliavblly animated and he did lighten my mood a little. He was telling me about his drunk customers and how you need a degree in botany before the government gives you a permit to grow vegetables these days.

I went home, switched on my phone and saw 10 missed calls. My phone has been quiet since. I guess Alboy must be sound asleep now and I am unsure what to feel about it.

Since, I have no one to complain to considering I hardly have any friends, its all out here, which actually sucks because I feel I do not have to let the entire www know. Then again, I typed so much, it seems like a waste to just delete it all.

Good Tuesday to all

Its a strange phenomenon really. At 11-12midnight on Sunday, one by one my friends log off and say they need to sleep. After donkey years of working, I still cannot get used to it. Hey, these people used to chat with me till 3/4am. Nowadays I find myself totally tired by midnight too, no amount of lingzhi pills seems to be helping. I try to calculate to see if the number of awake hours are the same, but somehow I cannot seem to get the maths right. The level of physical activity during the day has definitely dropped too considered I used to have to walk to the bus stop, up and down slopes, walk everywhere. These days, my lunch time swim do not really count. I sit on my butt the whole day and mostly take a cab home.

I go to the office and I hear office aunty talk. Its like you want to shut the crap up of those people who talk, but yet want to listen intently cos the stuff they talk about is pretty out of the world. I just learnt that one of them irons her bedsheet. Who in the right mind does that? Firstly, I would want my bedsheets to be cool, ironing just gives this trapped warm air feeling. Plus, don't you toss and turn at night. Ahhh, I know why,  old hags don't make out or have toy boys to mess up the beds. Later, someone was mentioning that someone's husband made someone starched the bedsheets too. Crazy. And then the boss walks in and silence falls as they all pretend to work.

Good Tuesday to me.

So much angst

Welcome dear body to another day where everything feels like stone.
I figured I probably need to sleep at 10pm everyday to feel like a million dollars the next day, else no matter what time I sleep, I probably feel like crap unless I wake up at noon.

Anyway I have been feeling super irritated these days. I hate working with incompetent people. I hate it that people complain about their work all the time and whole day say they want to go on holiday. I want to go on holiday tooo, but I do my fair share of work. These people want to quit but are hanging on cos there is a possible chance of a trip to somewhere in the coming months, then they quit right after.

Dang has been really busy of late so its also getting irritating that he is mostly dead tired. I think I am just short fuse these days. Maybe its the mooncakes, I only like Raffles hotel cognac mini snowskin mooncake,  but people keep sending substandard mooncakes to the office and my colleagues keep forcing me to eat them. With the exception of Raffles hotel mooncakes, I hate all other mooncakes. Why force me to eat them. I want my gelatos not mooncakes. We should have a Gelato festival or something instead.

Of day and night.

So, I stopped playing lemmings and by right should be wide awake today since I slept  7 hours yesterday. But but but, my head is still fuzzy.
Today my colleague came back from her holiday and started polluting my mind about how the grass is greener on the other side. Seriously, I am so sick of such things. I know my pay is not necessary the highest but hearing about such things just make you distracted and sad. I do not need such crap. Work is one thing but there are other aspects of my life I want to be happy with. I need to start finding myself a passion. Swimming hardly qualifies cos you can only swim once a day.

I had the strangest dream last night. This guy (I have no idea who), but it seems like I was in a relationship with him. So, this guy had a ring and it seemed like he was trying to propose to me, so he came really close to me and I deliberately drop the ring on the floor. The ring was like rolling around and people around me were gushing because a diamond is hard to find on the floor. I was shocked too cos I didn't want to be responsible for the lost of the ring. Eventually someone found it and  gave it to him. Then as he came closer to me, I took the ring and place it back in his hand, telling him it was just not meant to be. I could feel sadness as I did so. Then, I ran off and my good girlfriends followed. Again, I  had no idea who these girls are, they didn't even resemble anyone I know in real life. They were like shocked but erupted into merry making to cheer me up and we decided to tour the world. I think my dream stopped there or I woke up.

It was really strange.

Things that I hate

I hate it when I procrasinate because I get very pissed with myself and I don't like it. I hate it that I keep thinking of the long overdue task when I should be enjoying myself.

I hate it when everyone around me is so busy you have to arrange for outings months ahead. I hate it when everyone does not keep time. A dinner date should start on time. Rubber time is no good.

 

I hate it that people only come to you when they need help. I hate it when poeple take you for granted. I hate it that people have to multitask and schedule so many things at the same time. I hate it when I trudge through Mondays to Fridays. I hate it worse when I realised midweek that the week is going too slowly. I hate it that you have to play tennis with two people. Why can't every tennis court have a practising wall.

 

I hate it that weekends are so short.

Monday Monday....

Only monday morning and it has been a slurry of activities. Already mentally strangled some of my colleagues many times over.
Its too exhausting to describe the events but I cannot believe how dense some people can get.

My stomach is all knotted up again and the new toilet at the new office is not very conducive for shitting. Firstly there is this stupid motion sensor that is supposed to keep the light on. Problem is that it goes off every 10 sec. So, you either wave ur hands frantically every 10s, or shit in the dark. If you are in the cubicle further away, there is no way you can activate the motion sensor.

Thank goodness its almost noon and I am going to swim. I am a little against the hot sunthough. I hope its shady.

 

Back!

Back Back Back! In Fact back for a week.

LA was a mess, minus Disney the happiest place on earth. Even Disney, I felt Tokyo’s Disney was much better. The staff were more polite and I felt happier.

Vegas was good. Won Money at the penny machines and Grand Canyon was just humbling. The 5 hr drive to and fro was killing though. I never driven so much so fast in my life.

 

Back to the routine of work. We have a new office now. I am still undecided on how I feel about my new seat. Right in front of me is this huge red pillar that blocks my entire view. To my left is this big hole that leads to the pantry. I try to position myself so that I am in between these two structures and can see some view. My colleague next to me types too loud and it is irritating me. My boss is very near me now and my stingy office manager is of hearing distance too. I suspect they can hear my phone conversations. Have to be extra careful now.

 

Although I just got back, I would not mind traveling again. Not too sure if I can take leave. I have like 30 days of leave. There are so many places I want to go.

Yeah only 2 more nights in Austin!l

then, I am off to LA and Vegas. I hope the trip would be fun. I mean, afterall I am so sick of the US of A. I wonder why anyone will come here long term.
Yesterday I met up with my project mentor again, and I felt like bashing him. After the longest time of getting the fact that sg is not part of China into thick skull. He exclaimed,  "How come this is in English?" when I showed him newspaper cutting of The Strait Times.  I wanted to knock his head. Helllo, please do your research. I later sent him the Wikipedia entry of Sg for him to read, if he reads. I wanted to tell him that we probably have a much higher literacy rate than his country, and that we cane americans who come and vandalise our property. Such a kok.

I do not like classical music.

So, I been going out with the Korean guy because I rather he drive. It is so pathetic. He plays the oboe and he actually brought his classic CDs here and he has been playing them in the car all the time. Its getting on my nerves. Then, I have no idea why he is so uptightek can about time. Its like I tell him meet at 11am, he has to call me at 1045am to ask me again. So duh. Then whenever we go out, he just wants to return to the hotel asap. I have half the mind to abandon him. He behaves like this other hongkong guy I know. Kinda glad to start work tomorrow so that the week can pass faster. 1 month here is too long.

Big things.

Yes, I am still here. There is nothing much to do except what terror warnings repeatedly on TV. I hope things are not as bad when I go back. I do not want to miss my flight. I went to the grocery store yesterday, the chips I wanted were on the top shelf, and you know what... I couldn't reach the shelve at all. I jumped and jumped but still couldn't reach it. Thats how c giangantic things are.

My laptop is cranky too. Its hard to type. The cursor jumps back 4 words every 5 words. So, I keep having to retype. Then, I cannot move the laptop. I cannot on it after I transport the laptop. So duh.

I wonder if I am homesick yet..

So, I am out of the country and I get sms saying that my blog was quoted on Digital Times. Ahha.  I didn't even get to see the article!

Obviously, I went to check my google analytics to see if there is any spike in traffice. So, I got about 65% new readers, thankfully  u readership isn't too high. Else, i have to be start being careful about what I write, because if you know me, you will know its me.

 

Yup, I am in US now, the land where everything is super big but nowhere as nice as Singapore. I love my country man. I hear there is late night shopping now and tons of fireworks going on. There is absoutley nothing to do here. Driving on the other side of the road is a tad scary,  and I hate it that the signs are so tiny, or blocked by some big trees and that everything is on the right.

 

K, the internet sucks here, so thats it and I'll be back in a month!

Gone 3D2N

I am going to our neighboring country for boot camp *crys*
Actually for my company's team building, but after I took a look at the photos I think its more like boot camp.
Doing orientation games that are sooooo outdated, leaving in so-called chalets that are in the middle of the jungle. Grass, Mud, Insects everywhere. You get the picture. The kinda days where your underwear is never dry cos you constantly get thrown into the murky yellow brown river water.  Yucks.
WhywhydoIstillhavetodoallthesewhenIhaveoutgrownthisstage???? *wails*

 

I am Singaporean

Inspired by Mr Brown

My name is Handsel and it doesn't mean anything.

I live in Singapore and studied here all my life.
I followed through the competitive, merciless education system, emerging a graduate with little sense of the future.
I take the MRT everywhere, now I can repeat the terrorist warning messages in English, Mandarin, Malay and even Tamil (at least the numbers 999).
I love the national flag, and can recite the pledge in both English and Mandarin.
I sing Majulah Singapura proudly, although I do not understand what the malay words mean.
I read every sign in all three languages and stare hard at the Tamil words, hoping one day I will recognise the word 'Fine'.

I love my country and hate being mistaken for nationalities that I am not.
I silently sing Kit Chan's "Home" and queue proudly at the "Singaporean-Welcome Home" lane when I am back at the best airport in the world.
I am afraid to say my real name incase I kena the sedition act and I am a Singaporean.
So say we all

Of cars, buses and helis....

Yawn Yawn Yawn. Yet again, I am falling asleep.

I have been so bothered by details of planning for LA and LV that I'm frustrating myself.
And to think I was never a 'need to know all the details' person. I think some people I know will hyperventilate over this. *winks*

Having said that, I think it is still important to know my itinerary in general and how I am supposed to get from place to place.
Things like whether driving makes more sense, or getting a bus, or taking an expensive helicopter ride. If moolah were aplenty, things would be easier. However, I feel it will be stupid if unnecessary money is spent when it could have been saved with a little more research.

Now, the plan is to tentatively drive from LA to LV, then drive the next day to Grand Canyon. Easy enough right.

Here comes the part that complicates the whole thing,  my flight back home is from LA at noon. So, I have to make that 6 hours drive, more if I get lost, back.  Plus time to check in, this means I have to start driving at a ridiculous 3am in the morning. This makes paying for an extra hotel night so dumb. Oh, did I mention that I so wisely booked my hotels already?

Either I drive at 3am, or take the 1am bus, which makes more sense because its safer and less tiring.  Then, the money factor comes in because it is cheaper to get a round ticket trip instead of a single ticket. See how this totally negates my initial plan of driving.

Confusing right.

and, I yet to check out the car rental rates, bus schedules, helicopter trips......

 

Time..

Sometimes I think time isn't enough.
I left the office at 8pm last night. It was not too late though. In fact, I deliberately waited for 8pm to leave. I had finished my swim at 720 and figuring it makes no sense to go back at that time, I went back to the office to read the newspapers.
So, I reached home at 8.15pm. Dinner and it was like 9pm when I was done. Watched a bit of the shows my brother recorded for me and it was 10pm.
10pm was desperate housewife time. Mull over my claims , surf for hotels, at 11pm and it was like time for bed.
Crazy, I felt like I had no time to myself. You may disagree, but I hate it when I am too tired to even read.  I didn't need to bath because I did that before going home.

So, I resolved to leave office at like 7pm latest today.

But, my mum's incessant nagging when she sent me to work today made me change my mind. If I could freely surf and do my general administrative stuff in the office. I will finish it all and go home only for dinner. My mum is downright ridiculous. She happily spins stories and starts believing in it and accusing the whole world. Sometimes I wonder why I keep pushing off plans for the next overseas trip with her. I am not sure if I can take it.

Now I understand why I hardly miss home when I am travelling. And, lets see what time I will leave the office today.