NDR

Just watched the NDR and I have a few thoughts about it.

First, oh yeah, my flat is going to be HIP. Whatever that means. Since my estate is not going to be the first few to be HIP, we shall see. I just hope there is not too much hacking and noise, like what they did to the prefectly fine carpark, and now to the carpark at the coffee shop, effectively making parking such a hassle. I hope that I would have my own place by then.

Next, yes, its good that the goverment has all those policies to combat old age, hiring old people, changes to the cpf policy, yadar yadar. Its all very good and seriously I think they would benefit most Singaporeans. Its evident in the fact that we do not have homeless roaming the streets as you can see in other developed countries.

However, what the PM has impressed on me is rather not how good the goverment is, how well the govertment can provide, but rather, he reaffirms the fact that I must be self-reliant. I cannot depend on the goverment, If you had depended on the goverment, suddenly you will see your minimum age for CPF redrawal increase 10 years and in the PM words - cannot go on a holiday. I don't want to be like that.

I want to be able to have enough money to not depend on the goverment to provide me compulsary annunity, earn another %pt in increase. Like public transport, I do not want to depend on them to build trains/buses so that I can travel to town easily. I want to have my own mode of transport. Like jobs, I do not want to have to go through their job renewal problem, I want to be able to do it myself. Cos, if you depend on the goverment, somehow you are at their mercy. I distinively remembered the PM saying "No Choice" a couple of times. If you depend on the goverment, you would somewhat be the sandwich class. Remember, like most goverment policies, the benefits are the greatest for the neediest. I do not want to be the neediest.

This has somewhat made me more determined to do what I had set my mind to do in the past couple of weeks, except that I have totally no idea how to do it. But I will work on it. I have to.

And of course, there was the PM widly waving his arm at the end of his speech. It was so stift. I even caught some students laughing in the audience.

On another note, the critisim on the Jimmy Ye song. I love that song. I have read on the papers that people are complaining that there is no 'Singapore' in that song, and that the locations are too far away/exotic.

I have to admit that I was a little biased because I had just returned from London when I first heard the song and so I could relate to it. But but, the lyrics, there is no place I rather be. I mean to me, that only means one place - Singapore,home.
In fact, I did not even realised Singapore was not mentioned. I mean, when I heard that song, Kit Chan's voice, that one place was automically Singapore. I love coming home to Singapore when I am on the plane. I mean, its where my friends and my family are. My peers complain a lot about Singapore and work/study abroad. Maybe their families are more globalised, but for me, I just know deep down inside, I will never leave.

I do enjoy big open skies, plenty of space, quiet cities. In those few weeks when I was in places like that, I did think, ya I could get used to this. I mean after all the weather's way too humid in Sg, but at the end of the day, when the plane lands in Changi, no where else beats home.

About the cities being too exotic and not heartlander enough like phuket etc n what not, I am divided on this. I believe my opinion will be biased because I have been to most of the cities mentioned in the song, so obviously I could relate to it. I guess it would be a little hard if you don't even know where River Kwai is. I thought the inclusion of River Kwai was weird. But, if its all like phuket, bangkok, kl in the song, it will be weird and somewhat lose its sense of class. Do I sound atas here? Afterall, people usually holiday at these locations, not work and live.

Abrupt ending. Still can't seem to sequence my thoughts properly. Cannot be bothered with typos, grammar and spelling. Recently, my hands don't seem to type what my mind wants. I can think cat but type dog. Its been happening increasingly too often that its becoming distrubing. Taz.

Jetlagged

I am officilly jet lagged. It feels strange. I never ever experienced jetlag. I mean I could just sleep and sleep and sleep. Except that for the past two days in a row, I have been waking up at 6am.

Nursing a heavy head now but I just can't seem to sleep. Had a crazy dream in which I could conjured spells like Harry Potter and was escaping from something, except that I forgot the magical spells and was caught. I could not remember the spell that stunned people. In my dream it was stupify but I said stunned, totalus which all did not work.

I don't really want to get back to work. I been in KL 2 weeks before US, so it barely feels like I am working.

Managed to spend 900 dollars in US, of which only 200 is on myself. I don't understand why. I spent 300+ bucks on my family and another 300+ bucks on Alboy's side. Thats what happens when coach is 'cheap'

And as usual, the levis that i buy in US is too small when i return home. For some strange reason all the time, I fool myself into thinking the smaller size fits better when its always too tight when I reach home. This is the 3rd time. Sigh.

Bought a useless half jacket too cos it was so pretty. Usually i make really pratical buys but things change when you cross time zones. Spent a ton on the stopover at narita too, those jap stuff were all so pretty that you just want to buy them all. I need to stop buying stuff.

Maybe I should try to get back to sleep now.

The land of the nobody

Woa its been a month since my last update. I didnt even know it was that long. What was I doing?

Yes i spent one week in KL, half a week sick, celebrated 5 yrs with Alboy and now am on the verge of going to the land of nobody. Dun wannna gooo!!!

I have shopping list from people, I supposed the joy of buying something and paying for it but knowing it won't hurt your pockets is quite fun, except that I am not sure if I am able to find stuff that is on the list and also that I would not be able to collect back a portion of the money.

Today I woke up and suddenly I was like..maybe I should quit and go study. Surfed for MBAs at work and decided that I would only quit if I get a scholarship. Made a mental note to look more into scholarships but knowing me, it prob be this thought in my head that never materialise. V Bad.

Its only 7.20pm but I am feeling v tired. I think I can call it a day and sleep now but I have some stuff I want to do that I have been putting off. Plus there is the packing to be done for the dreadful trip. I prob miss all my flight connections and have the airport staff treat me like a stupid asian again.

So long

Till then. now.

So, plenty has happened since my last post.

The dreadful wedding is finally over. You cannot believe the amount of trouble I got into for it. First, it was the imho unnecessary jewellery saga, my parents abandoning me and the final screaming n yelling. My heart was like dead and i was trying not to look like I cried a lot on the wedding day. What so fantastic about a wedding anyway.Its not as if your life is going to change. or if there is anything you can do now that you can't do before. Too much fanfare imho.


Will be in kl next week. Its just bad timing. I get to not read HP at 7am and can only start on it at 11pm when I am back plus boss is not around. Its perfect to be in office when he is not around. But nono, I had to be away. CS are rising too which means I won't be able to monitor.

Made a cheesecake. It turned out pretty alright althought I wasn't able to yank the cake out of the mould after I was done. Who cares anyway. Had no appetite to eat it cos I knew like one whole blob of butter and cream cheese went in. Its way too much sin for me. In fact, now I look at cheesecake differently. I imagine them in butter and cream cheese. Yucks.

My updated world map

Units of a day.

Again Again, 24 hours in a day is way too short.
Imagine I divide my hours into units a day -  something inspired by about a boy when I rewatched it.

Sidetrack - on radio this morning, I am pretty certain that the guy doing the voice over for the Shell sense advertisement is the same as the Samsung Imagine advert. For a while, I thought they were the same. The way the words were emphasize were the same too.

Back to maintrack
9 units are spent working
8 units sleeping

This leaves me 7 units.
I take 1 unit to get to work.  2 units to get back, eat and bath.

That leaves me 4 units.
Sounds like a lot. Aha, that is assuming I leave work on the dot.  

Lets assume that
4 units - I spend 1 unit devouring the papers.
3 units left.  1 unit surfing the internet.  
2 units left. Well I am not abt to justify this 2 units because my plan above assumes everything runs like clockwork. By right, these 2 units should not exist. If they did, I would have my magazines to read, TV, phone time which will not be enough.

Why Why Why is this barely enough even when I leave work on the dot.

Well, the reality is I do not leave work on the dot.
That leaves my 4 units to be either 3 or 2 units.
Sigh sigh. I had this feeling of exasperation last night when I couldnt do anything except read the papers.

Now I feel a little dumb, cos all i did was to replace the word hours by units. I am sure Hugh Grant meant it differently when he used units.

Bits and Pieces

So,  the power supply isn't the problem. Changed my power supply but computer still refuses to boot up. Sigh. I hate having to depend on my work laptop. The idea of getting a mac has been crossing my mind. My rational self says no and that repairing the motherboard is prob way cheaper. My vain self says I want a mac for everything that is cool. Too bad I am not exactly feeling very rich now. Maybe I should walk across the road during lunch and shade 4 digits.

I havnt swum for the 12 days I was away and my hair feels smoother. I always thought that my hair quality was somewhat good, considering the amount I swim. Apparently, it has degraded over the years and now I feel the familiar feeling I had years ago.

Mid week.

 

Home

Home finally.

Then, I heard the new ndp song by Kit Chan on TV and it struke a chord in me. I always have been a sucker for ndp and the ndp songs. I like Home a lot, and now I think I have a second fav in There is no place I rather be.

Which is strange, because I enjoy returning to Singapore, in fact I am always very happy to be home in Sg, but home as in sg home but not my house home perse. Everytime I return house home, I get flak and tons of it which makes me wonder why I want to be home in the first place. I am still feeling that way. However, I do enjoy cruising down the pie from Changi in the cab.

Finland and London was a Blast. Finland Tampere was rather boring considering that Alboy was in conference the whole day long leaving me with ample time with nothing to do. I soon got used to and even enjoy walking in a town where there were so few people. There was so much space and it was just great. Nice cool weather.

London too, eating a sandwich and apple pie, a piece of choco cake in the park opp the London eye was just out of the world. You can never do this in the sweltering humid, ideal for mosquito breeding weather here. But in London, it was just so relaxed and nice.

We walked in a park where swans ducks pigeons flew boldly around us. Sat by the pond at a very nice cool 15 degrees and watched the world go by. It was just like in the movies.

Minus the fact that the pound was just so expensive - I had a really really good time.

cold and hot

I am becoming a fin. When I arrived I was freezing like crazy, now 20 degrees is hot to me. I can actually go out with just one jacket. Its amazing.

Have not stepped out today. Hopefully the weather is scorching hot today in finnish terms at 20 degrees.

Kinda bored here actually. Tampere is a super small town. I walked around like for 4 hours and now I can go ard without a map.

Going to Gone

Moodless. Moodless. Moodless.

Waiting for time to pass. Waiting for time to pass.

Waiting for email reply. Waiting for email reply

Want to leave. Want to fly.

 

But not particularly excited. Just want time to move on.

chirp chirp

I been reading Karen Cheng blog and she is just so inspiring. I been reading for some time now but on a lazy Sunday afternoon I just started reading entries from before. She inspires me. She makes parenting seem like such a joy. Totally opp from whatever stories my mum tells me. Sometimes I wish my mum stop doing such things. Its poisoning me. Her husband comes home at 5pm everything, and still has time to take care of kids. I do not think it happens here in Sg. If you reach home by 8pm I supposed its a wonderful thing already.

I know she probably has her tiring times too but the fact that all her entries are so bright and chirpy is just so nice. Its like an escape from my own world. I should make a conscious effort to blog about happy things. Like how today I swam faster than this 1.8m tall ang moh. Like how my boss is not around and I have been doing rubbishy work today. Like how I convinced myself that even though I stare at my computer screen doing nothing, I am doing work as long as I am listening to podcast by top company management from the ipod. Ain't that wonderful.

 

Dollar and Sense

I should be sleeping now. But I am not.

I had a lousey evening. It usually happens when I need to buy something and Alboy is around. You see, we have very different notions about how much a thing should cost and how much I would be willing to pay for it. Alboy just have this mindset that the more expensive something is, the higher the quality. Usually that is the case, but the question I always have is, Do you need that high quality. Sometimes you are just paying for the branding. Sometimes he gets totally biased and insist it is the better make even before opening the package. Gosh, I hate those moments. When its his turn to buy stuff, i just do my tsk n walk away because after all it is his money and its not for me to approve his purchases.

Its a different story when I need to buy stuff. I do not consider myself a cheapo but I am highly unwilling to pay top dollar for something. I am much more pragmetic. If something performs its function and is not too ugly looking, I do not need to buy the most expensive one.

So it always happens like this. Alboy accompanies me to look for my item. Take the ipod skin for example. I was only willing to pay 20 dollars max for a silicon cover. But Alboy always have to insist that the cheap silicon covers are no good. Personally at 20 bucks, I do not think its cheap. Also, I hate to make my purchase at the first shop, I like to shop around, walk around, know that I am not cheated because I can buy the same thing at a neighbourhood store at 80% of the price. I get into this mangzhang mood cos Alboy just picks things beyond what I am willing to pay, then puts me into this difficult spot. Then, I go really silent and blackface then he gets mad too. I end up paying for something overpriced and feeling shitty about it.

Something similar happened again. Sigh. I should stop shopping with him.

Another story, at timberland, I think a yr or so ago. I need to get this moisturizer for my suede bag. Timberland was the only place I could find the moisturizer. Buy the moisturizer I will cos I really did the hunting. Then came along this one stupid brush. I knew I didnt need the brush. But Alboy insisted I will need the brush some day. My argument at that point in time was, When I need it I will buy it. I do not even forsee myself needing the brush. I didnt know what happened but I paid 8 bucks for the brush anyway. Its not really a matter of money, but now when I look at the brush in mint condition sitting on my shelve, I feel super irritated.

I should shop with people who understands this.

For the soul mate that he is, I do not ever think he understands this.

Sigh. I should really go sleep or risk being zombified at work tomorrow. But, like I care.

Random

Heard "I never promised you a rose garden" on my way to work and man, it was the most awful song I heard in a long time.
Not the song per se, cos I love that song but today's song was sung with absolutely no feeling. I thought it must be a cover, then I was thinking to myself, it seems like a song sung by a guy to a girl so I was pretty sure what I heard was a cover. Did a google the moment I got into the office and found out it was sung by a woman. Now I am a bit disturbed.

Feeling dazed on a tuesdays is not a good sign. Blame Prison Break. 5 episodes in a row is so not good for health.
I need sleep.

 

Of mice and stupid people

Today i think, erm erm, I havn't blogged for some time so I should write something really nice.

But now, I am in the eragon mood where I want to mentally kill some people. Make it more violent this time, I want to physically take their heads and smash it against the wall till the blood makes a mess on the floor.

How can some people be so self centered, think they are so damn bloody smart (worse still, keep refering to themselves as smart which really reafirms the fact that they think they are smart) but yet be so dumb. I hate people who pick and choose what they want to belive. Sometimes, I think i should just focuse on my job and not bother but its just not me. I have this knack for telling people off and confronting them like a raged bull when I totally do not agree. Sigh. Poor me.

To happier things, I finally filled in my spreadsheet and realised I spent a lot of money this month. Its double the amount. If money spent were an indication of my social life then I should be doing pretty well but somehow I do not feel so. It does not help that the GSS is ongoing. I seriously do not think I be buying anything unless it is really really cheap which it never is.

My heart feels rather knotted. I think its cos of imbeciles and work. Sometimes I feel like just quitting but I don't think i will. Not yet at least.

A Perfect Morning.

A perfect morning

-  Wake up feeling totally refreshed. That means 12 hours of sleep at least. I just read somewhere today that waking up refreshed is the best feeling in the world. I paused to think  about it and I think ya, its actually not bad. Too bad I peel myself out of bed almost every morning.

- Wash up, Have a pippin hot breakfast. Preferably like Prawn Noodles or Wanton Noodles.

- Settle oneself down on the sofa and slowly reading through the papers.

- Assuming all these take place in nice cool weather, it would be time for a little nap or some light chore like making the bed. Else, take a long hot bath or go for a swim.

- Juice some fruits for drinks.

- Sleep/Watch TV

Sigh.
 

An Entry

Time to blog since I have some spare time.

It’s been a crazy week for me workwise.
On the social note, I have been caught up with watching 24 now that I have completed prison break. I do not like it at all. Not the show. But the act of watching TV.

I only have so many hours a day, watching television disrupts my reading routine. Eversince I started Prison Break, I have not been able to complete my Magazine readings before the next issue arrives. It is pissing me off big time. My book - I read only 5 pages a day before I get too tired and conked off. Anyone would, try reading a book at 3am after 3 hours of telly. It’s so disgusting.

I am going to just complete the first season of 24 and stop there. It’s not that interesting anyway. The rest if I watch, it be like a Saturday Afternoon thingy, no more messing with my reading.

Spent 230+ on Mother's Day Lunch. Sometimes I think that my siblings are the ones who are enjoying it most. I mean, they just wait and depend for me to make reservations, go have a nice lunch , make mum happy and mum doesn’t question them on their absence of presents. I should make them pay a nominal amount but then I would surely get flak for imposing that.

Have recently been enamored by the T100 and ipod Video 80G. My mum was almost going to buy the 80G for me (in partial exchange for LV) but they had no stock. Darn. Now that we left Epicenter, its never going to happen again.

Would put them on my Birthday Wishlist since I do not foresee myself spending so much money. Have to put myself on Budget. Esp since I have yet to book my London Finland hotels. That is going to cost at least 1k.

Things I need to do this week
- Pack my clothes cupboard and decide if I really do need an extra cupboard
- Pack my table. I cannot understand how my table now is messier than when I was actually using it to study.
- Pack my room. I think I have more wires entangling everything.
- Get another component input cable so I do not have to manually plug and unplug them everytime I switch from TV to DVD. Than k goodness I have some substantial knowledge about electrical stuff.
- While I am on that, install Wireless control for my light switch! Not high priority since I would have to shut off electricity to my whole house. Do not think Dad would be very pleased.
- Finish reading all my backdated magazines.

Single or not?

Attended a wedding today, watched Jennifer Aniston Rumour has it , heard 2 friends propose and here are my thoughts on getting hitched.

I still do not understand it. Or rather, to put it more honestly, I don't think I understand myself. I still do not know what stand I take about marriage. More of these reunification just make me think deeper to what I really want. I think I want to be together with Alboy for a long long time but yet, I am afraid of what the future will be. I am afraid I will be bored and take flight. I also do not want to give up all the little luxuries I get when I stay at home.

Since I have been travelling quite a bit this yr, 6 countries in 4 months, I realise that i am always rather happy when I am out. Maybe its a form of escapism, or maybe I really just enjoy taking in the sights.

Maybe its because I am not making much new friends these days that I spend time with Alboy. Maybe its the other way around. I enjoy being with him a lot. But, i just hate the empty feeling I get when I am alone because he is not free. It makes me feel useless and needy.

I seen a lot of new couples happily together at the start but later they hate each other like crazy. How did it happen? How can you hate someone you liked so much previously?

On Alboy, I know he is a keeper, thats for sure. Which guy will endure me screaming and hunging up the phone on him when I get irritated(which doesn't happen often) , then leave it alone only to sms tease/confront me about it and later buy me ice cream?? I know a lot of guys who would either have flared up too, or try to 'reason' with the girl making the girl admit she was wrong.

Two of my friends just did amazing proposals. One took 6 months to make a mtv and used to to propose in a ktv, the other arranged an elaborate fancy dinner and popped the qns with a big ass tiffany ring. It was woa. But the strange thing is, I didnt feel like i wanted any of those things, infact i think i was a bit terrified.

Jennifer Aniston in Rumor has it was somewhat like that. It took her major awakening in her life before she finally knew what she wanted. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be have to go through that but yet I feel like I want to feel what I really want before I just go along with the flow of things.

A lot of rambling. I still do not know my point of this post. Maybe next time I have to structure it first to have it make more sense.

My updated World Map

Paradise on earth

Maldives was lovely. Paradise. Heaven on earth. The most beautiful place I have been.

It was the only place where I wanted to hop onto a plane and fly back immediately right after I landed back in Singapore. When I close my eyes, I still can picture it vividly. I want to remember every moment of it before the memory gets blurred. It was just, perfect.

Our room was about the cheapest (but yet still very expensive imho) on the resort but yet it was lovely. The back of the room was a glass wall with wooden blinds. Open the door and you have this neat patio area afterwhich you walk out to pristine white sand and crystal clear waters. Yes, the beach at your backyard. It was just surreal. The waters were so clear that you can see fishes swimming to shore. On one day, dophines actually swam really close too.

At night, the sky was just a blanket of stars. Clear skies whole night. Beats all the stargazing sessions I been. The whole sky of stars just there for you. In my rush to pack the night before, I forgot my starmap so I could only recognise the major constellations which kinda pissed me off cos there were just so many of these jewels in the skies. I had told myself to pack it in but totally forgot.

I slept at 10pm everyday and wake up at 7, feeling all refresh and nice. The routine was so laid back, wake up , eat a hearty breakfast. Activity at 10+11, then back to shower and change nice nice for lunch, then activity again either at 2 or 4 then shower and change nice nice for dinner.

There were so many koreans there and boy do those ladies know how to dress. They were dresses I would wear to weddings to go on board a boat, complete with kitty heels. Its a wonder they didnt capsize on board. They kinda inspired me to dress up, so I had fun dressing up during mealtimes. Mambo had a closing down sale just 2 days before I left and I bought quite a bit of stuff there which came in handy. Alboy packed so many shirts and berns/jeans, I didnt even know he packed so much, he was always so nicely dress for meals too. That vain boy even brought two watches, one for meal one for rough use. I almost fainted when I found out.

What did I do there?
I went sailing, or rather sat on the sail and the guide jaga the boat, snorkelled, suba dive, wakeboard, fishing, did a half day island hopping thingy, went sunset dophin watching. It was just perfect, going out on the boat, sea breeze ruffling your hair. All the photos turned out fantastic, mainly because the scenary was so great it didnt even matter if you scrowl in the photo.

Fishing was an experience. There were so many fish out there. We were just provided a reel of nylon string and some tuna as bait, throw into the water and fish. Alboy caught this huge fish, or rather the standard size there, the length of the fish was from his ankles to his knees. I caught a tiny red snapper though. Best part is, they cooked it for you for dinner the next day. It felt a bit strange though, to be so involved in the killing and eating of the fish. A bit cruel cos you could see the poor fish struggling, hooked through its nose/eyes and then eating it the next day.

Snorkeling was just out of the world. There were stingrays, turtles , sharks, octopus and plenty of multi coloured fish. The marine creatures mentioned were just an arm length away. It was that plentiful and nearby. I even managed to touch and rub the shell of the turtle. Was a bit afraid of a Steve Irwin when I was swimming ontop the stingrays because I knew there were barely a meter below. In fact, we saw more snorkelling than scuba diving.

Wakeboarding. My first try. Everytime we do any of these sea sports in Singapore, you will land up smelling like the longkang water the whole day even if you give yourself a thourough bath. Here, the scenary just makes falling into the water fun. Clean water, nice backdrop. Photos turned out amazing too.

It was just amazing. No wonder so many people go there for honeymoon. Oh, we told the agent that we were on honeymoon too to enjoy the perks like free fruits yada yada....and when we first arrived the first night, I got a shock of my life. They used leaves, flowers to create this "happy honeymoon" words on the bed, then flowers scattered all over. I was just speechless for words. The bell boy was like "oh your honeymoon" and I wanted to say nononono, but I guess my jaws were just too wide open and too stunned to react. Alboy then took over from there and I didnt really know what was exchanged.

I want to go back there again.
Would post photos if not cos I am too lazy to figure out how the photo thing works. Don't have the software I used to use now that I am using the laptop.
Would show to all when we meet up. You have to see it. It just mega pretty.

The slightly ouch factor was that everything was so expensive.
Accomodation was 2.2kSGD , Spending amout there(inclusive of food and excurisions) was 1.2kUSD. Airport tax was 400SGD. Thank goodness I redeemed the tickets else that would have been an additional 1.2k SGD. Just this alone was like 4.5k SGD, just for 4 wonderful nights. Very expensive. But it was really worth every single cent imho.

I want to go back!!

The Wheel turns...

So, its one of those days where you feel just tired, then you are not sure if you are emotionally tired or could be a physical strain. You think for a while, then decide its a lethal combination of the two. Mind over body you tell yourself, but alas, the mind is weak. The force is not there.

Things have progressed to a stage where I hardly feel much. Let it be, Whatever, I don't care, Even if I do, do I have the power to do anything you ask. Ziltch.

Yet, the wheel of life has to continue turning, dateline has to be met, else you get annihilated, you get weeded out. You persist then you find out certain things that make you $ad. Ya, $ad. A new word I learnt. A useful one.