Things that make me happy

Its quite amazing that I can write stuff, stuff which at the moment of writing will help organise the fluff with the sole purpose of making everything easily understandable the next time round, and I have no effin idea what I wrote when i reread it. Then i do the same thing over and over again. Madness.

Anyway, since this is a post of things that makes me happy. Lets just list them down pronto.
- being a business owner is immensely satisfying. i may be only at the very early stages, but i know its a good step forward and this time round, i have a fren to push me along.
- dreaming of bubble gummy nail colours make me slightly dizty. Not sure if its happines, but I am pretty sure if my nails were indeed nicely painted those colours, i will be happy
- waking up early, doing stuff and feeling satisfied makes me happy. Although, 99% of the time it will be accompanied by faintness in the brain followed by an uncontrollable 3 hr nap which negates everything. Then, the familar sick feeling breeds.
- travelling makes me happy. i love to travel, walk around, breathe in a different air, learn new things - that makes me very very happy. really happy.
- thinking of going to paris makes me happy, even though it will be my 3rd time there I somehow really like paris.
- talking to my closer friends and have them understand you at the same level without them being patronising is a good feeling. However, most of the time, friends only come to you when they need a listening ear and you know it when they only half listen to you. It also mars the feeling when you feel that you wasted too much time online just chatting.
-being so tired that you are able to fall asleep immediately at the right timing is a great feeling. Too bad my body clock is so screwed.
-swimming, as always, feels divine.
-cycling in the perfect temperature feels great too. If only I could take my eyes off the path and look at the sights without worrying about crashing, or car doors opening to slam right into me.
- i guess having nice clothes and knowing exactly how to match your clothes will feel good. I think one needs to have a large collection of clothes before you can do that. I feel I have too little clothes and am getting kinda sick with the same stuff.
-nice jewelery always makes one feel happy. But jewelery has to match nice clothes, or there needs to be someone out there to notice and admire.
- being loved and being around pple who openly express that they love you is a happy feeling. I'm not talking about being around people who love you but don't express it, that is another dimension all together.
- eating good food at good prices is always enjoyable
- eating good dimsum has to make this list definitely
- good desserts as well

ha, i actually feel kinda happy thinking and writing about the things that makes me happy.

The flair for writing.

I don't think I write particularly well. My hand eye coordination is not what it seems. I think in perfect english but I land up typing terrible english. I am too lazy to check and my eyes glaze over most unintended errors. If there were no squiggy red lines, there would be twice the number of errors. I don't structure my thoughts, they are as randomised as they get. My only saving grace is that I write too flamboyantly, exaggerated things too much and have a vivid imagination. But then, these are the finer points that only a handful will appreciate.

I used to edit words for a living. I add fluff to sentences. Write stuff that fooled people into thinking I knew what I was writing. Cut and paste and then restructuring the sentence was a darn useful skill to have. Granted, words do come a tad easier to me than most other people. But with all the grammatical, spelling and poor sentence structure, it was amazing I managed to survive at work then.

I read back on my earlier posts and marvel at my language, mostly my imagination. I still think that my imagination is way way more vivid than most boring souls out there, but it , too , seems to have toned down quite a bit. I used to get pissed, not that I don't now, and feel a whole lot of other emotions. I think these emotions have been overshadowed by boredom, guilt and a general sense of uselessness these days. I feel that I have been limited this way.

Recently, I have started to write the really boring stuff again. Stuff where you just give the fact in clear, succinct english, and it felt a bit painful.

I told myself I won't write about mundane things in life, like what time i woke up, what i ate blar blar. Then, I told myself I will limit my negative thoughts writing. I don't want to belt out only when I feel depressed. I told myself that I will pick a topic and write about it. As usual, talk is cheap.

My thoughts as still as random as ever.

I have decided. my next blog entry shall me a list of things that makes me happy. we shall see.

The younglings

Just had dinner with a bunch of younglings, about a whole decade and more younger than me.
I don't exactly feel old among them, but I don't feel that i fit in, and that the whole generation of younglings are catching up onto me, socially, educationally, career wisely. No doubt about a good 3/4 of them will land up in the same position or somewhere below when they reach my age. It just makes me feel like I am not progressing. It hurts to know that you have just peaked in life. Not a very high peak too.

Well, I'm finally doing stuff that hopefully will raise the barrier higher. I'm not sure if it will work. But its definitely better than doing nothing. One has to try right. So world, wish me luck.

Then of course, I have my share of gripes. A particular wallet that I have been eyeing for a long time is now available. I almost bought it after convincing and justifying to myself, then the checkout process screws up and I am in limbo. I hate it that I need to justify such silly things to myself when some other people just do it without blinking. Gosh. Why is my brain wired like this?

I have 8 mths to make myself successful. I really need to work harder.

Wahaha.

hahaha, here we r again. At this rate, this is going to be a bi annual blog.
I won't even kid myself to say things like I will try to update this space more often.
Maybe there isn't much going on in my mundane life now.

As tradition dictates, I need to sum up my life in the past 6 mths before proceeding.

Here it goes: Spent all my time until June, mugging, feeling despair, guilty about studying. Yes, I eventually failed my exam. I dunno why, the exam was hard. But hard exams do not usually stumble me. My brain was just not what it used to be. I kicked myself in the arse, then enjoyed a gorgeous summer. Learnt to golf in a indoor tennis court, sailed and capsized twice, shunned the trains for cycling, went to Alaska, and life is back to normal.

Currently toying with an idea that I stole, I wonder if it will work. We shall see.