Attended a wedding today, watched Jennifer Aniston Rumour has it , heard 2 friends propose and here are my thoughts on getting hitched.
I still do not understand it. Or rather, to put it more honestly, I don't think I understand myself. I still do not know what stand I take about marriage. More of these reunification just make me think deeper to what I really want. I think I want to be together with Alboy for a long long time but yet, I am afraid of what the future will be. I am afraid I will be bored and take flight. I also do not want to give up all the little luxuries I get when I stay at home.
Since I have been travelling quite a bit this yr, 6 countries in 4 months, I realise that i am always rather happy when I am out. Maybe its a form of escapism, or maybe I really just enjoy taking in the sights.
Maybe its because I am not making much new friends these days that I spend time with Alboy. Maybe its the other way around. I enjoy being with him a lot. But, i just hate the empty feeling I get when I am alone because he is not free. It makes me feel useless and needy.
I seen a lot of new couples happily together at the start but later they hate each other like crazy. How did it happen? How can you hate someone you liked so much previously?
On Alboy, I know he is a keeper, thats for sure. Which guy will endure me screaming and hunging up the phone on him when I get irritated(which doesn't happen often) , then leave it alone only to sms tease/confront me about it and later buy me ice cream?? I know a lot of guys who would either have flared up too, or try to 'reason' with the girl making the girl admit she was wrong.
Two of my friends just did amazing proposals. One took 6 months to make a mtv and used to to propose in a ktv, the other arranged an elaborate fancy dinner and popped the qns with a big ass tiffany ring. It was woa. But the strange thing is, I didnt feel like i wanted any of those things, infact i think i was a bit terrified.
Jennifer Aniston in Rumor has it was somewhat like that. It took her major awakening in her life before she finally knew what she wanted. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be have to go through that but yet I feel like I want to feel what I really want before I just go along with the flow of things.
A lot of rambling. I still do not know my point of this post. Maybe next time I have to structure it first to have it make more sense.
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