Bunches

Today as I was walking home, I noticed the sky was grey. Grey. Usually, the sky is just blue, white or dark to me. It was grey today, I was slightly terrified. It was as if some old grandfather's unkempt moustache was covering the sky.

It has been raining and raining these days. I love the rain. It brings the temperature down and I get to wear all my long sleeve tops that I never wear. When was the last time you saw me in something long sleeve, or with sleeves?

I thought of a new phrase on the bus today. Its "I love you bunches"

"I love you", "I love you lots" , "I love you forever" , whatever is overused. Everyone says it. It is dull and outdated. So, I decided " I love you bunches" will be the new phrase.

I smsed Dung the phrase this morning and he was slightly amused and he thought that I had gone mad because I shitted too much this morning.
I had taken it upon myself to describe to him in the most intricate details about my shit ordeal. It was fantastic. It was the half watery totally stinko kind of shit. Dung says that the amount of shit should be proportional to the size of the person. He added that it was alright for a cow like him to shit and fart a lot but not me. Crap. I shall shit as much as I want.

Anyway, as I was saying, "I love you bunches" was refreshing. I had too much time in the day later to ponder and I decided to call Dung "Bunches".

Then, Dung would be able to stand out from the crowd of " dear, dearie, darling, dar, dar dar, ling ,ling lin, sweetheart, sugarypussy".
Bunches is a good name. Of course I told Dung, he protested at first cos he thought it insinuated that he was fat. What a vainpot!
See, once Dung is Bunches, the phrase "I love you Bunches" will take on a second meaning. Its like code phrase for "I love you Dung"
Dual meaning. How cool!

I sold Dung the idea, I got over excited and added that " Dung the Bunches" sounds good too. And like Pavlov dogs, I conditioned Dung the Bunches to say "hi" in this high pitchy voice when say "Dung the Bunches". It was fun, for a while at least.

Cindy: "Dung the Bunches"
Dung: "Hiii"

Cindy " Dung the Bunches" (in low frequency noise)
Dung: "Hiii"

Cindy "Dung the Bunches" (in lower frequency noise)
Dung: "Hiii"

Dung still insisted that it was the shit that gave me this high. I think he secretly enjoyed it too.

A stroke of Brillance

I came up with a brillant idea.

I have been buying more and more shoes, and it has become tiring trying to find my shoes at the common shoerack at home. So, I have decided to keep my shoes in their original boxes. To avoid confusion since I mostly buy my shoes from the same few places, I will take a photograph of each pair of shoes and stick the photo to the box for identification.

Brillant eh. I am so proud of myself. It is seldom I think in such an organised manner. Now, the hard part is not to procrastinate.



See my first picture.

Will use the laser colour printer tomorrow to print.

Evenings are getting boring. Everything someone see me, they will ask "waaa, how come you are going home/at home?"
For goodness sake, I have been going home almost everyday after work. Why does everyone think I throng the streets of Orchard every night? Why does everyone think that I go clubbing everynight? Infact, I seldom club. When was the last time you hear me say I clubbed?

In fact, I have been most dormant. Its getting very irritating. I am starting to feel very restless. I want to go swimming after work, but the lack of sun and public pools totally put me off. I want to travel but I'm always stuck. I am begining to think that Dung is subconciously stopping me from travelling. One day one day, I will run off without having to adhere to his schedule. *grits teeth*

Yippe, I like my new blog layout.

No doubt this is the first custom layout in the blogger page, I like this layout enough to use it. I like the circles and the use of colours. Thanks to Douglas Bowman. The other blogskins on third party sites are simply too troublesome to use and usually plagued with viruses.

Who cares if a million other people is using this layout? *fwah*
Don’t you think the circles on this blog layout resemble my earrings too? The circle ones.

Anyway, I lost all the comments written in the previous blogs because I switched from haloscan to the inhouse comments provider. Some people whine a lot when they lose things that once upon a time meant sometime to them, I don’t. I enjoy throwing away things. I used to keep greeting cards from years ago from all my friends, but now I just discard them. No point clinging on to the past I figured.

Will slowly decorate the layout.

Today I learnt a shocking fact. Remember the Neanderthal I complained about? Today I found out that she has only primary education. She did not even make it to Secondary school. No wonder she is so dumb. She must have failed all the way to primary 8 before finally giving up. I thought dumb people do N levels. I do not even have a proper adjective to describe her dumbness level.

How can anyone with primary education turn out so bitchy. It baffles me.
Without a certain education level, you cannot even qualify to say that you are educated. If you think about it, at 28, N cannot even be compared to your mums and dads. Word has it that she married a NUS researcher. Must be some balding, fat, ugly guy. If she has kids, it will effect to the nullification of genes.


My friends all have at least a polytechnic education. Most of them are geniuses though.
I know I sound totally arrogant and cocky all the time, but hey, I think I have the right to. Its my blog and also although I may not be like those geniuses who complete their PhD in like half the time, I know I am not dumb.

Time to decide if I should go eat mango ice-cream. I hate eating after brushing my teeth for the night.

20 minutes to blog

Ha, I switched the television set on all ready to watched America Next Top Model but it doesn't start till 10pm. Apparently, there is true files or unsolved case or whatever on television. That leaves me 20 minutes to blog. Yayayya, I enjoy watching ANTM, its absolutely bitchy, they catfight and the girls are so bimbo. Even the judges are bitchy too. Tyra has a receding hairline in my opinion and I swore I looked at her from every angle, and my verdict still is that she is not the least bit pretty. I have never seen a younger picture of Janice Dickenson but she is ugly too.

Yay, Just heard thunder. I love the rain. At night especially.

I finally did my claims for my BKK trip. Woa, I actually spent quite a bit despite my earlier silent resolution that I will not buy anything. I spent almost 200SGD on myself.

I bought like 20 over pairs of earrings. Dung said it isn't too much because a girl can never have enough accessories and shoes. See, that's why I still fawning over him.



Nice right.

I bought lingerie too. Its so beautiful there. And its 60% off. Wonderful stuff. Women's secret here is always overpriced. I bought a few other useless things too. A fake Man U jersey for my brother, it was overpriced. I knew the guy was making a blast off me, but I didn't feel like bargaining partly because he spoke good English and because he was nice to me. He was handsome too.

I bought useless stuff too. Like a top which I couldn't wear because the fit was so bad. Like the boxers with the horny devil prints all over it for Dung. Dung found it tight. Big arse I say. Nevertheless, he paraded in it for me. Oh, I spend money on a half hour foot massage as well.

It was a guy who massaged my feet, strange, I would have think it would be a girl caressing my leg instead of a guy. I say leg because the foot massage extends all the way to my knee. He did a 20minute massage instead of half hour. Also, I do know what he did, my feet was extremely painful after that. Its either I clipped my nerve when I slipped after the massage. I slipped because my feet was so slippery and I simply couldn't grip my sandals. Either that or he did some funny things to my nerve.

I was practically limping to the airplane gate. I tortured myself even more when I walked to the wrong gate because of my stupidness. I mistook the seat number for the gate number and this resulted in me trotting the whole length of the airport.

Ok, my 20 minutes is up. Time to indulge in ANTM.

yoyoyoy, the bkk girl is here.

So, I did go out last night. I went to Siam Square, one of the featured article in the papers. I actually pored over the article but my thai collegue brought me out instead.

The advantage of having massive land space is that all your shops can be on ground level, and you can afford to walk around and get lost at every turn, which in itself is not a bad thing because you see something new at everyturn. I did not even bother to find my bearings, I just walked and turned and walked.

SS is a bit like the streets in Japan, except that its much cheaper. Earings were going for 15B a pair, that is too cheap. It is like 6 times more ex here. I should have brought everything, dump it into my luggage and sell in sg. Even if they do not sell, I would have enough earrings to last a lifetime. I might even have to pierce more earholes to be able to wear them.

I got meself two tops too. I decided I will give them away if I do not like that. They always look so good on display but when I eventually tried them when I got back to the hotel, it was dissapointing. The material was even thinner after it stretched across my body. Its the kind of thin that makes your bra visible.

Its either I got fatter or the top was too thin. I blame the top, obviously.

Oooh, I took the sky train and MRT here too. After Japan's web of trains, nothing is too difficult for me. The trains are quite alright actually. You will have no idea that you are in BKK because you are underground.

I used 4 towels to dry myself after my bath yesterday. I feel like a king. It was a fantastic feeling.
Its like using a different towel for each limb. 4 towels a bath. I am so proud of myself.

In BKK

yyooyoy, handsel is utterly lost in translation in bkk. Actually its not that bad, but since this is supposed to my outlet, allow me to exxagrted it. It would be more fun reading this way too.

I am placed in a hotel quite far away from the rest of the world. okok, it is not that far, but it certainly looks isolated on the map. My bkk office admin boasts that there is Robinson and Carefour nearby. Why in the world would I want to do in Robinson and Carefour? Methinks it is her way of scoring points for being able to place me in a cheap location. Only SGD 48 a night, inclusive of ABF, how wonderful can that get?

Enough grumbling. I am supposed to be upbeat.

Thankfully for people like guybrush, pally and even my dear cousin to keep me company and listen to my whines via the power of the internet.

BKK is seriously cheap. I cannot find a way of saying that without acting like some rich swine, but seriously, it is dirt cheap.

Meals are on the average 20Baht, which is like less than a single sgd dollar. I took a cab to the hotel from the airport, I waved a 500 baht bill to the cab driver and he recoiled in shock. It was as if the note was that terrifying. Friends have told me to live it up and pamper myself. However, I find myself with no urge to buy anything. I learnt from previous shopping lessons in BKK, that everything adds up, and that most of the time, you land up buying things you never use back home.

Anyway, my little eye spys a lovely lingerie shop in the office building nearby, perhaps I will wander in and sing a different tune later.

Oh ya, its vegeterian week in BKK now, wtf, whats up with it? Also, they are running a energy saving campaign, so all major malls have to shut by 9pm. huh? What about econmical sense? I figured that as long as the tourism board does not advertise this fact, tourists will still flock in. Everything's so cheap anyway.

I wonder why I will go tonight, BKK can get a tad scary at night. It feels like there are people prowling at every corner sometimes, I think I'm slightly paranoid but then cliche as it may be, better safe than sorry.

Anyone wants anything from BKK? Let me know.

Mama mia ...here I come again...

Today I asked Dung, What age do you think it's a good age to be?

He replied instantly, "Newborn".

I stared back wondering what he will sprout next. He said in all earnestness, "because they get a lot breast". He elaborated that if he were newborn with the mentality of an adult, he would be happiest. He said he would start wailing each time the nipple is taken away from him.

Man. Sigh. *heaves*

I later cajoled him into answering my question again. This time he answered, "Now" with affirmative and conviction. "Now is the time I am the Man that I will become". Something to that effect. He said it in a more grandiose way. I was slightly swooned over when he said this but I kept a straight face. Very charming indeed, or at least I thought so.

I have always wanted to be older. Slightly older so that people will take me more seriously. I know that when I am slightly older, I will want to be younger. So, I am not thinking so much about it. I just feel that now is the age where everyone around you treats you like some green horn and dished you away. I suspect there is a more elaborate underlying reason to why I feel this way, but I do not want to go that far to probe why.

Emi wants to be 18. She thinks it's a good age to be. I think its because her crush is 18 and she finally realized how bloody old she is. Pedophile. 18 is not a good age to be. Sure, you can buy cigarettes, drink and go pubbing legally. I enjoyed the time when I was 18 or rather I enjoyed the times I remembered I was 18. I now classify all 18 years old as young punks. Yes, that was how long ago I felt 18 was.

Watched Mama Mia today.

Buy the CD instead. Its about the same. ABBA sounds better. Much. I didn't enjoy the musical, even though I paid for top dollar seats. I thought the lead singers went off-keys and were screaming instead of singing. The ploy was weak IMHO.

Act one was the day before the wedding. Sophie reveals that she invited 3 man who might be her father to her wedding. It turns out that Sophie secretly read Mum Donna's diary. Donna had 3 romps with 3 guys consecutively. Donna herself does not even know who the dad is. It went into a confusing song and dance about almost nothing.

Act two was the day of the wedding. Song and dance again. It was sometimes funny but largely slapstick. The best part was when Donna's sidekick dangled a fish and when "pepper my snapper". Obviously none of us poorly read Singaporeans caught the joke. Thankfully Dung and I were slightly wider read and I swear that we were the only two people in the audience, minus the ang mohs, laughing. Anyway, the musical ended with Sophie decides not to marry her groom. Her groom was extremely happy about her decision. Sophie was happy too. In a twist of events, Donna landed up marrying one of the three guys. Werid. Marriage always is depicted too lightly. Tsk Tsk.

In short, forget about the musical. Get the CD. Its about 10 times cheaper too.

Man, I was supposed to pack my clothes for BKK but yet I procrastinated again. WTF. I will just pack tomorrow. I need not be so hard on myself.

Jaywalking is not as bad as it seems

Man, this is the first time I am blogging at work. Correction, blogging after work hours but in the office. Blogging with Lotus notes.

I have no idea what those goons in my office do after 530pm. I assume that some are nincompoops and take very long to complete their daily tasks, other feel that long hours are directly proportional to a measure of how good you are , some have no lives. Perhaps some of them are trying to avoid their spouses at home. I wonder.

I decided I should stop using the word dang. Too many people I know are referring to it. I want the luxury of having the name to myself. From today, I will refer to him as Dung. Forgive the lack of creativeness.

Today I emailed chat a friend. Let's call him Caterpillar. Caterpillar's getting married at the end of the month. I told him that marrying scares me and he ironically commented that one should not marry too young and he is scared too. Caterpillar is only two years older. I wish him all the best.

Bolting out of the office now
**************************
Fast forward, remembered I bolted out of the office. It is now a day later.

I just watched Sg Idol Everytime I watched it, I feel like changing my TV set. I always wonder why I feel the same way everytime. The idols, or rather contestants , were sorely lacking. It was painful having to hear them sing. Sigh.

Today I jaywalked. I normally don't . In my defense, I had a gnawing feeling that if I walked the 100m to the traffic light, I would have missed my bus. And, I was darn right. The bus arrived out of nowhere as soon as I jaywalked. It was as if it were the midnight express. I hate having to wait aimlessly for the bus. I tried reading/smsing at the busstop, but the results were always disastrous. The bus will become oblivious of my presence and conveniently zoom pass me. I have resolved never to do anything else but be on the prowl for buses at busstops.

For those of you who drive, you lucky bastards. You probably are clueless to the public transport system.

I re-emphasis my point in my earlier entry. I wanna be a superhero. Life will be more exciting without having to worry about missing buses.

lalala, engerizer bunny

Yoyoyo, Handsel springs back into action. *dong dong dong* Think energizer bunny heartily drumming away.

I been to KL and back, got a new pair of shoes, cut my hair. Not bad eh. But I also think I got fatter.

About KL, I eventually drove up to KL Did anyone see the KL tourism board advertisement? It's the one where Asher Gill stars in. In the advert, they play wonderful music, you see frame after frame of glamorous Asher partying in clubs, shopping in really nice malls , spending time at nicely renovated coffee joints yadar yadar.

You say to yourself, wow, what a wonderful place. Afterall, it is a very vibrant ad. Beats Australia Ad, I have no idea but Australia seems to be after the grey dollar instead. So, if you are ang mo, you will probably fall in love with this truly asia place and want to visit KL.

Thankfully I know better than those silly Ang Mohs. That city is a mess. The city is an inane representation of the ad. Everything seems dusty there. Dark characters lurk around everywhere. Traffic is lawless there. Officers of the law are constantly on the prowl for a bribe. We had to pay a 60rm bribe to get pass the causeway. It is absolutely disgusting. It is times like that that I am so thankful I'm Singaporean.

Then, in all fairness, I have to admit that I only venture like a 200m radius from when I stayed. I was stuck in a gaudy meeting room all the time. Needless to say, they did not bother to provide us with any drinking water.

Sigh.

To happier things, I love my new pair of shoes. Actually, I loved the way I got them. I had to get a new pair of shoes on Sunday because I found out last minute that I was going to dine with class and all I had on were my lovely red reefs. I hate having to be forced to buy something, plus my head was spinning because I was insufficiently rested.

Thankfully, I have my fashion consultant aka manslave with me. He loves shopping. So all I had to do was to sit on the couch, wait for him to pick out shoes for me , try them on, wait for a verdict and finally pay for one pair. Fantastic way of shopping. I feel like a diva. Wooohoo.
I love my fashion consultant/manslave

I wanna be a superhero!!

Yes, I want to be a superhero, don't you?

With the exception of Poor Peter Parker and Superman and a few more, Superheros do not seem to have to work. They lead exciting lives, seem to be impervious to pain and never fall sick.

Plus, they get exciting outfits to wear. Think me in sultry Catwoman Bodysuit. *meow*

And yes, I want to play with whatever gadgets they have. Be it the Earth, Fire, Water, Wind, Heart rings, Batman's automobile, Donatello's staff, Harry Porter's invisible coat, Yoda's force, you get the drift.

The odd thing is with the exception of captain planet, I watched most cartoons in my adult life. SBC 5 had to air them on Saturdays morning and mornings were always too early for me. I rewatched Star Wars recently and wooo, I love the light saber. I want one too. I want to be able to leap from building to building, spin webs, travel fast, have absolute strength, the list goes on.

Don't you love it when you superhero saves the day? *Handseldreams*

Ok, Jolt back to reality.

I am sick. Fwah. I hate being sick. When I fall sick, my swim timings drop when I recover. I always become slightly out of breath after that.

My nosey has been leaking like the spoiled tap in my bathroom. I been cleaning n cleaning it, soon MJ will have a nicer nose. It does not help that I feel darn weak. My head feels like its space is being quashed every moment.

Also, it is not helping that there is a resident mosquito in my room. Darn, how do mosquitoes even fly up so high in the first place. Everything seems to be falling out of place, why am I not a superhero? *wails* Superheroes lead fantastic lives.

Reminder: Panadol Cold is a scam. It is most ineffective. They just pack Paracetamol in it. Paracetamol, the wonder drug for everything, after aspirin, Viagra and Cialis.

Seriously, all western medicine does is to relief the symptoms, numb the sense and nothing else. Think about it, it's a ploy to make us continue popping the pills and it generates revenue for them. Everwonder how migraines evolved from headaches. No doubt, it's a term coined by one of those big drug factories.

Chinese medicine is completely different. Although I am a bit disgusted by some who try to turn treatment into a business, most are still fine. They give you one bag of blackish stuff, and make you brew and brew it until nothing is left. I love the bitter taste of Chinese medicine, it beats the plasticy capsule taste.

Eitherway, I just want to recover. Crap.

Spizza and Haagen Daaz

Today was a strange day. Nothing much happened but it feels as if it were a summersault ride.

I spoke to Swat on ICQ today. So happy. It was just a brief conversation before I was hurried to eat dinner, but speaking to your crush always makes you happy. Now, stop gapping, yes, dang knows that swat is my crush although the details are somewhat hazy.

Swat has been my crush for the longest time. In fact, I too think that years ago, I was his crush too. Do not get me wrong. I refer to him as my crush out of sheer convenience. Over the years, we have reached this silent understanding that nothing will really happen between us. He is happily attached now with his lawyer gf and I have my dang.

I shall not go into details about his lawyer gf although I was quite indignant when I found out about it. I had to mask my look of absolute disgust when I first met her, not to mention that I knew her beforehand. Why had it to be her of all people? *spats*

Anyhow, talking to swat always makes me happy. He isn't half the memory I keep etched in me though, he is somewhat different now. Older. It does not matter, I thoroughly enjoy the friendship we have now, and perhaps one day many years later, we will talk about it and laugh at our foolish young selves.

On a different note altogether, dang was depressing because he always has to work so hard. But he always makes up for it in his unique way.

I was getting slightly frustrated because he was terribly weary during the day. Insanely ridiculously I admit , but I couldn't help feeling this way. I know dang sensed the shift in force because he called to say he wanted to meet me.

We went to Spizza and later Haagen Daaz. Sidenote: Service at Spizza deteriorated. The crew of Indian workers simply could not manage an increased crowd size.

It was at Haagen Daaz that I almost flared up. I consider myself a docile person. Very little things make me angry. Sure, I get pissed at plenty of things but pissed is only a temporary sensation.

Dang ordered a waffle with tiramisu ice-cream, a flavour I do not eat. I poured the heresy sauce into one cube of the waffle, while he drizzled the rest of the sauce over the waffle. The cube was mine. Clearly mine.

Dang indulged in his waffle and suddenly, as if to mock me, he scooped the tiramisu and dumped it into my cube. I was enraged. It was such a deliberate act. I was looking forward to that cube of chocolate-soaked waffle all the time. It feels as if something precious was snatched away from you.

Oh also, I paid for dessert that I did not get to eat because dang did not have cash with him. Wtf. The staff were profusely thanking him as we walked out. In their sickening sweet voice "Thank you SIR, Thank you SIR"

Grrrr.. notice how eateries always thank the male and totally ignore the female, even if she paid for the meal instead. It happens all the time, everywhere. I hate it.

Thankfully dang has his ways of making me happy again, but largely because I have a huge soft spot for him, the intense situation was eventually diffused.

I am hungry now. Got to find food.