My oh My oh My Boooo

Have not blogged in a while.

Been in a slight depression. I was thinking that it would be yet another passing phase, but I plummeted deeper n deeper into Modor.

Its too lengthy to retell the tale, but the summary is
- I feel directionless
- I do not really know what I am doing
- I do not know what I want to do.

I came up with a few action items. I whined to a few people online and they probably know what they are. I cannot explicitly express myself, because I suspect more people are reading this that I know. Enough about ssh-shhh.

On a happier note, I decided I will learn how to use codecharge. I have been very lazy and thus unsuccessful. I will start in December. Tomorrow is December. So far, my only accomplishment is that I managed to find IIS on XP and now have a web server for publishing.

Also, I had lunch with Ben today. . Ben now has a red vios. It is an awful red. Its the splat red kinda of red. Take Nippon paint red and splash it all over your car. Ugly. I like red cars, but Ben's red was lackluster.

Lunch with an old friend is always good, you hurl profanities at each other knowing no one really minds. You condemn the same kind(race) of people, you have the same taste in food, you speak the same language.

Five things I learnt
- being vegetarian will make you less desirable to the opposite sex. My cousin is having second thoughts about a girl after he learnt of her diet.
- giving blowjobs will ultimately get you what you want. Read Candace Bushnell's Trading Up for more details
- N-gade QD has 8 in 1 pirated games in MMC cards. This rocks, because a single game cartridge costs around $60.
- I actually like Alicia Keys and Usher's My Boo quite a bit. I foresee my next song will be Britney Spears' Santa can you hear me..
- Boo originated from the French word 'Beau', it got mispronounced along the way and now is my oh my oh my boooo.

My Theory

Yesterday I came up with a fantastic theory.

As I roused myself in bed on a cold early Monday morning, a singular question raced through my head - "Why do I have to wake up to go work? Why do I have to work?"

I was thoroughly unhappy as I peeled myself from the bed, it was then I formulated my theory.

I had just realized a day ago that I was born on a Sunday. I was checking my users details on ICQ when I found out. I had always wanted to know which day of it week it was when I was born and now the mystery was finally solved.

I conjured in my little head that since I was born on a Sunday , I was not meant for work. Sundays are days of rest and only losers work Sunday. The rest of the world rest. So, since I was born on a Sunday, I figured that I was never meant for work. I got a little happier as I thought about it.

Psychoedd came online later in the day and I amused her with my theory. I think she must have dismissed it as yet another one of my weird ideas. Nevertheless, she checked and she was born on a Wednesday, middle of the week. I figured that like the day, people born on Wednesday just work, its neither a good or bad thing.

We then concluded that if you are born on a Sunday and it happens to be a public holiday, you would be blessed for life.

When two girls chat, the topic inevitably switches to guys. I told her that Sunday guys are not good because they are probably as nua as me. Friday guys are bad too cos all they think of will be to party, they would probably be flirtaous too. Monday guys have to work very hard because Mondays are the start of a long grueling work week.

It would be preferential to pick a Monday guy over a Sunday/Friday guy. Come on, who wants a useless guy.

Psychoeed got curious and asked which day Dung was born. I had no idea and she checked for me. Turns out he is a Monday guy. In Psychoeed's own words, "you are SO freaking accurate". No wonder Dung works 24/7. This explains it all.

Of course I told Dung. I think he has heard enough of my bizarre theories and has perfected the skill of indulging me before dismissing me. *goes giddy with joy*

The Incredibles

Yes, I watched The Incredibles on Friday.

It must have been 2 gazillions years since I last watched a movie on a Weekday.

I want to be a superhero!! Why aren't my parents superheroes in disguise?

I might then be able to run/swim very very fast. I can even disappear into oblivion whenever I feel like it.

I love The Incredibles. Disney finally got it right after their lackluster performance from the last few movies.

The Incredibles is fantastic.It beats Shark Tales hollow. Renee Zellweger and especially Will Smith's voice irritated me big time throughout the show.

There is Mr Incredible, a superhero who has incredulous strength. He uses cars and trains instead of dumbbells to build up muscles. His wife, Mrs Incredible aka Elasticgirl, is superhero too. She is like plastacine. She can mould herself into any shape, fit into grooves and stretch her body a mile long.

Of course, they have super hero kids. There is Violet, Dash and Jack-jack. Violet can disappear as and when she likes. She also can create this ball of force that shields everyone from bullets, explosions and all things straying into her path. Dash runs very very fast. So fast that his movements cannot be caught on tape. Jack-jack is only an infant, but has exhibited powers of fire.

Ain't that the coolest family ever?

I shall stop before I spoil the movie for everyone else.

I give it 20 outta 10. Go watch!

About Lef

hahaha...good old Lef raved about me in his blog. It started from a normal icq conversation,

C : yoyoo so glad u started to blog again
Lef : wahaha
Lef :but i dunno what to write again...
C : me is blogging now..jsut write whatever u want to write
write abt me..hahaha
Lef :okok
C :hahha...sure or not....
C :u say write then i write lor...........
Lef :wahaha
C :hahahaha......good good

and Lef wrote about me!!!!!

I am pretty sure he got into a lot of trouble with his other gfs with that entry.

Waaaa, most of the time, you can classify guys into a few categories (see one of my earlier post). They are either Bastards, Sore Losers, CMI, Try to hard, the list goes on. Lef is one of the very few who fits neither here nor there. You would have to create a special category for him.

When he shows me his photoalbum, he always takes photos with pretty girls. His convocation pictures are all with pretty girls. I am forever amazed how he finds all the pretty girls. I think he makes Kpoh and Des jealous. It is easy for a stranger to mistake him for a superficial creep but the truth is, he enjoys a unique and treasured relationship with each of this girls.

I have enjoyed a tremendous friendship with Lef. He gives me presents every year on my birthday without fail!! He has presented me with a telescope (I am still slightly awed by the magnitude of that gesture, although he claims that he went on a shopping spree because he was depressed).

During my first year in boring engineering school, Lef helped me with Graphics the whole semester. To those unfamiliar with graphics, it is this irritating module where they make you draw on isometric paper. They give you weird instructions and you are expected to follow. Sometimes, you are required to draw things from plane view, side view, whatever. As the semester progressed, things become weirder and they tell you that you have to draw blocks, sphere, triangles at precise coordinates, worse still, these structures intersect each other.

I hated graphics and sucked at it. Lef, on the other hand, aced graphics. Lef helped me with graphics week after week tirelessly. The point to note is that I did not bug and leeched onto Lef for help. He sought me out week after week to ask if I needed help, all the way until the final paper. I remembered he even insisted that I meet him a few days before the finals to make sure I was ok. I eventually scored a B+ for graphics and that would definitely would not be possible without Lef.

About Lef (in the same copied format)
1. Lef uses a very strong scented shower foam. Shucks, I momentarily forgot the brand
2. Lef has like 10 million guitars
3. Lef likes comics
4. Lef is always on ICQ
5. Lef's house is very big but has cracks on the wall
6. Lef smses everyone Good Morning, he goes "hi babe, good morning and ....". He words the sms as if he is smsing you, but he in actual fact is mass-smsing everyone.
7. As a result, Lef sms bills skyrockets.
8. Lef loses his handphone all the time.
9. Lef gives me the impression he eats a lot of MacDonald's.
10. Lef has been a wonderful friend, and will be. He is fantabulous although I wish he would take more than 3 minutes to bath. Grosskid.

My Inspiration

A colleague of mine spends $600 a month only.

*waits for reaction*

Well, before you pass any judgment. Let me include the fact that his $600 a month covers his $300 rent.
Do the math, and he only spends $300 a month.

Shocked?

He lives alone, has to buy groceries, toiletries, food, everything to sum it up , and he spends only 600-300=300 a month.
Woa. I easily spend $600 a month and I do not need to pay rent, or buy daily necessities. He is good.

I can't seem to understand why all my money went. Except for a few pairs of shoes, I think I indulged too much in food. It is an irony in itself because I actually hate eating. I eat only because I have to.

Then again, the counter argument is that I have been eating good these days. I dine so often at crystal jade that I know exactly what I want to eat before I reach the outlet.I used up all my UOB dining privileges too.

That layer of bubble forming around my waist must be my punishment.

My colleague in turns eats only vegetables. He is not vegetarian but all he orders for lunch is rice with 3 different type of greens. He claims that he wants to be healthy and that meat makes his stomach churn. Veggies with rice is also the cheapest combination ever. I secretly think that he would be eating all meat if meat were cheaper than veggies.

For dinner, he boils corn and veggies. For all the lack of meat in his diet, he is a 1.85m tall strapping guy. Very lean and with a extremely nice butt. His butt is very toned. I used to watch him swim when we were in school and my my my, he is eye candy. *drools*

I have crowned him MY INSPIRATION.

Now all I have to do is to start eating my greens(puke), stop eating at crystal jade, stop buying ice cream to eat, stop using food vouchers, stop eating desserts after dinner, stop buying bubble tea to drink, I might actually match his spending.

Amazing Race

Why are Americans so dumb? Why do they all think they can win the amazing race?

Take for example, old grandparents who vehemently believe they can win the race. Ohmygesh, oh pul-sease, It is impossible. You need a combination of luck, wit and strength to win the race. Stop daydreaming about the million dollar cash prize, you should have worked harder when you had the vigor.

Example number 2, father and daughter team. Again its about strength, poor old daddy will never make it. Unless you fathered your child when you were a minor, why not just watch the race from the comforts of your home.

Example number 3, couples who claim they want to build their relationship. Ok, so these people do at least have some chance of running the race decently. However, they usually land up screaming at each other half the time because they cannot read the map, the do stupid things like filling petrol into a diesel tank(happens every season), they jump at the chance to blame each other etc. They blame each other too quickly.

I am always amazed at the rubbish these Americans say, how they think so highly of themselves, how they all think they will win the race.
At first you think, woa, confident people. After some time, I think there people just do not know their limits. Thus, the cliché ,"Empty vessels make the most noise"

You see the fire and aggressiveness in their eyes, but really after 5 seasons, I know better and I scoff at them.

*clutches throat and bangs head on wall*

I need to blardy remind myself not to pick up calls from certain numbers.
I happily picked up my phone cos it is the first foreign number since I switched to free incoming.

Turns out to be vivace's husband to be, and suprise suprise, he is a financer planner. Argk.
I know vivace first, and even then, I am not even close to her. Much less the guy. Argk.

Anyway, he is not that fluent a talker, cos he spoke to me the 3 times I absent mindedly picked up the phone and he has yet to introduce himself as a financer planner. Whatever.

My nose is still leaking and my throat is still sore. Dorithricin like all other Western medicine is a scam.

Anyhow, in my wrecked state, I am going to meet Dung. Dung flared up at me yesterday for no good reason other then that he was pissed and irritated and I think he is trying to make up for it.

Argk

So, today is the last day of my 5 day holiday.

I ought to be delighted for such a break but somehow I am feeling different,
My head's throbbing because I slept too much. It feels like its going to explode. My throat is in agony cos I drank too little water on Saturday, yes, my throat is that sensitive.

Argk, feeling very lousy.

I am dumb

Waaaa....sobsob...

I did this test and my score is only 110. Asendoh scored 114. To make sure the test is not a fluke, I retook it but clicked A for all 39qns. It churned out a score of 80. 80 is an idiot's score. So, there is some basis in this test after all.

I went to the mensa webpage to see what 100 meant. It only meant that I was at the 50% percentile of the population. I feel so blardy dumb. There must be a lot of retards out there, and for that matter of fact, a whole lot of geniuses. I am so sad.

Not yet totally convinced, I went to this site, directed from the mensa website. I scored 24. Again, asendoh beat me by scoring 26. He is officially smarter than me. The canned msg churned was

"Thank you for trying Mensa Italia Preliminary Test!You answered correctly to 24 questions out of 33, therefore youhave good possibilities to succeed the actual Mensa test"

Another link later gave this table
Correct answers 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 less than 24
Probability 95% 95% 90% 85% 80% 75% 70% 65% 60% 50% very few

So, I only have a 50% chance of getting to mensa. This totally concurs with the result of the first test. Not that I want to get into mensa, but the grim reality bites.

In my weak defense, my parents were constantly nagging at me to hang the clothes while I did the test. Sigh. Whatever.

I am utterly sad. Only 50% percentile. Now, I will stop sprouting rubbish and stop insulting Neanderthals, for some time at least till i find some way of rebuking mensa. Sob Sob.

Deepa Raya

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M1 again -its getting boring

If you see a specks of blood at Bt Batok M1, that's mine. I vomited blood there, and you thought my ordeal with M1 was over.

So, today's the day my dad goes down to M1 to transfer his line. It is the last time his pesky daughter has to bother him over trivial little things like mobile line.

I went to M1 on the first floor, there was this botak guy bouncing around with a brochure in his hands. For the whole 30 minutes I was there, I couldn't figure out what his job function was. I presumed he was positioned there to assist customers in a bid to shorten waiting time, but all he did was to bounce from place to place like a half deflated balloon.

My Q number was 3117, it was 3111 when I received my number. Good, only 6 more to go, less time before hungry dad gets cranky because he has to wait. Well, turns out it took 30 minutes to get from 1 to 7.

Just as it was my turn to be serviced, the lady gave me a blank look, after explaining to her my case and asking her to pull up my records, she asked me, "so which handset are you upgrading to?"

Fwah. Turns out M1 not only hires inefficient staff, they hire deafs as well. I immediately switched to my throw-tantrum mode and blasted at her. Still, Patricia stared at me blankly.

Slowly, she seemed to understand and told me I had to go to level 2 customer service instead. So so so dumb. Of course I made a bigger fuss. I told Patricia that I wanted to be serviced immediately when i was at level 2. I didn't want to have to Q again. Patricia said no no no no , gave me crap reasons. I persisted and she disappeared into the room behind. She resurfaced later and told me I can go upstairs.

Seriously, the people at the booths for upgrading are terrible. They are like the one class higher version of the ah-bengs and lians touting used phones in neighborhood centers. Even with their orange uniforms on, they still look the same.

I went upstairs. The people upstairs were much nicer. Rosalind was nice although she too had to disappear into that little room. She told me at first that I would not be able to retain my Oki-Flex plan, that was not what Iris promised me. Rosalind disappeared once again. Later, she told me I could keep my plan but nicely asked me if I wanted to change my plan. I learnt from her that I would not have to pay 3months of caller ID if I switched to V100, so I switched.

I am now on free incoming, 100minutes free outgoing which in actual facts only translates to 50 mins free outgoing during peak hours and no sms. Its only $18.90. I figured that since no one calls me, and I call no one. This would be the best plan.

My mum gave me a sorrowful look and teased me endlessly when I told her no one calls me. Ok, so now that I am not entitled to free sms, unless you are a Singtel and Starhub user, you can almost forget about me replying your sms. Call me instead. I still do not understand why there is not free sms website for M1. Yet another silly M1 thingy.

Gosh, I hate that so many of my blog entries are about this M1 saga. Its terribly boring. I hope this is the end of it. Lets hope M1 keeps to its word when I get the bill later in the month.

M1 replied.

So, M1 did reply

Dear Ms Ong

We refer to your e-mail dated 1 November 2004 and our subsequent conversation on 5 November 2001.

Ms Ong, we acknowledge your concern regarding the transfer of mobile line 97924125 from your father's name to yours. We have reviewed your request and we will accede to your request as an exceptional basis.

The registered customer, Mr Ong can request to transfer the mobile line at any M1 Customer Service Centre. Both the transferor and the transferee have to be present and must bring along the following:
- The transferor's original NRIC
- The transferee's original NRIC

As spoken, the following terms will be extended to you:
- Proration of the handset contract from date of transfer until contractexpiry on 14 May 2005.
- Existing SunPerks points will be transferred into your new account- 45% Bonus Discount for the first year

Ms Ong, we hope you understand that while we will try to assist you as much as possible, we are unable to accede to all your requests. We thank you for providing us with the opportunity to provide you with further service.

If you have other queries, please contact our 24-hour Customer Service Hotline at 1627 (+65 96801627). Alternatively, you may send us your query/ feedback via the link below. http://csfeedback.m1.com.sg/jsp/email.jsp

Yours sincerelyMobileOne Ltd
Iris Lim
Customer Relations
For more information, please refer to www.m1.com.sg

Turns out that Irene is on maternity leave so Iris called. Whats up with I-names, although i-pod is absolutely cool. The new i-photo is even better, although it has less of a practical function imho.

Well, M1 says that they will keep my 45% discount for a year before reverting back to the discount scheme as if I were a new customer, 35%. I think its crap. Either way, I will just get the name changed and see how things go later. I think their computer system will not be smart enough to remember the change, else I will jus change price plan.

Now, the tough part, convincing my dad to visit M1.

I'm dead beat. I went bowling today. Wait, I am dead beat because I had a long day and not because I went bowling. I reread the flow of sentences and realized that I would appear horrifically loser if I were tired because I went to bowl.

Back to bowling, it was appalling. I have not bowled in years. I used to bowl regularly when Ben was in AC's bowling team. He would constantly make us bowl. Thankfully, he weaned out of it.

Then he was hooked to billiards and snooker, and we went ever so often. Till this day, I am still slightly fearful of those ever so forbidding Chinese gods at the entrance of the cigarette filled, dimly lilted underground places. Ben now has a gf, so he spends all his time humping like jackrabbits so he now only looks us up occasionally. Enough about Ben.

Methinks me wants to sleep. Nights

Seven things put me off.....

1. Chinese pop music. Just how many 5566s , Jay Chou, Ou De Yang, F4s can you have.

Although I have to admit that Dao Ming Si is pretty cute. I reword, Dao Ming Si is pretty cute only in meteor gardens. I turned into this pussy during some heart wrenching episodes. Yes yes, I can hear you all murmuring to yourselves and condemning me to damnation.

I cringe when chinese pop is blasting from the radio sets in the taxis that I sit. Good thing it only takes 50 minutes max to travel from Jurong to Changi.

Oh, Jamie Yeo pisses me off too, and while we are on it, Glenn Ong is no better. What a match! I used to enjoy the Late night show with Glenn, I even emailed dedications hoping they will be read. Once it was and I whopped in delight.

Now, Glenn irresponsibility sprouts rubbish on air whilst claiming that he has the freedom to aire his views. Oh pulease, with the power of media in your hands, you are influential. I hope Glenn gets fired like Shiek Haikel.

2. Smell. I hate the smell of certain spices, especially those the Malays and Indians use in their food. Ouch. My noses twitches the whole during my malay colleagues eat in.

I rather have Dung fart in my face.

I detest the smell of cigarette smoke too. How can anyone get addicted to something that smells so foul? Worse, add the smell of cigarette smoke to the spices and its a double whammy.

3. 3 ply tissue. Its a waste of material. Because it is so thick, my lips always feel slightly bruised.

So, take out 1 ply and use only 2 ply you say? But what do you do with the remaining 1 ply? I hate it when my mum rips off the 1 ply to give me when I ask for tissue. The 1 ply is too useless for anything.

3 ply tissues are only good for cleaning you arse after a good shit.

4. Relatives. My relatives are like the uncles and aunties in the market.

They all act like they know better how to discipline you and have to add in their two cents worth. They think I will listen to them when I do not heed my parents. They act like they have the power to talk sense into me.

Wake up, if I do not agree with my parents on certain issues, you no-value-to-me relatives will not succeed either. Fwah.

5. Malay guy with phone number 91599579. Please spam him with calls and sms. Your call.

He has been calling and sms-ing me in malay. Its always the "Sayang I miss you, Saya cinta padamu Amy, " and other gibberish malay. The girl in question Amy seems to be spurning him, then again, all his msgs go to me not Amy.

I have rudely screamed at him, sms-ed him my limited malay, which equates to 'awak bodoh machiam barbi, saya amy ta, berhenti sms saya'. My malay not bad eh. Actually if you notice, they are simple words that I learned off signboards and pieced them together. Its like doing zhao ju.

Still, malay guy keeps calling and sms-ing. I even got my malay colleague to scold him, and yet he continues to sms me immediately after.

I hope amy leaves him. Dumbass.

6. Having to shit and realizing that your mum is bathing and would take another 10 minutes. Coupled with the fact that your parents think that one storeroom is not enough to keep junk and have to convert the other bathroom into a storeroom.

That is the dumbest thing ever. My mum is convinced that if we use the toilet in her room, all the urine and shit atoms will surface and float around the room.

7.M1 for obvious reasons. They have yet to get back to me after requesting for my patience. It has been 2 days. I decided my PATIENCE lasts 7 days.

Getting short-fused these days. I guess it happens as you age.

Canned replies are not polite but infuriating.

Look, this is what M1 replied.

Dear Ms Ong

Thank you for your e-mail dated 1 November 2004.

We thank you for taking your valuable time to write to us pertaining to your feedback on transfer of ownership policy. We are currently reviewing your case and will keep you informed on the outcome.

We appreciate your patience. Please rest assured that we would contact you soonest possible.

If you have other queries, please contact our 24-hour Customer Service Hotline at 1627 (+65 96801627). Alternatively, you may send us your query/ feedback via the link below.

http://csfeedback.m1.com.sg/jsp/email.jsp

Yours sincerely

MobileOne Ltd

Nuryusman

Customer Relations

It is obviously a canned reply. Its funny how I wrote to Irene , Assistant Manager, and Nuryusman replies. I suspect my email was intercepted along the way by the mail handler or perhaps Irene too does not value me as a customer.

You think M1 will reply me positively? I think they are toying me around their little finger.

M1 is pissing me off

I finally wrote in to complain to M1 yesterday. My mobile line has been under my Dad's name. I was not 18 at the time of registration then and did not want to have to pay the silly $50 deposit. I have been wanting to have it changed so that I own the line.

However, M1 adamantly insisted that I would lose all my loyalty discount and perk points if I do so. Seriously, I care nuts about perk points. Its a scam because they are never enough to change for anything. Loyalty discount is a different matter, it shaves a substantial enough amount off my bill.

I composed my email and sent it off. Today, a Mr. Nuryusman called me and after wasting 5 mins of my talktime, informed me that he could not do anything. I supposed it is one of M1 ploys to add talktime into your phone bill. Foreseeing that I would probably be at work and thus inconvenient for me to answer calls, I had clearly stated in the complaint form that my preferred mode of communication was via email.

Anyhow, what Nuryusman did was to repeat "I understand, but there is nothing we can do" for 5 minutes. Hey, I did not submit a complaint to have someone who is not empowered be the punching bag of my grouses. I want action. I blatantly told Nuryusman that I would have no qualms about changing to another mobile operator and he told me there was still nothing he can do.

I was incensed. I mean, I do not even feel valued. I have been with M1 for 7 fucking years, despite the fact that Singtel obviously is the better service provider. I knew Nuryusman could not do much so I decided to send in another complain email when I got home.

Well, M1 beat me to it, Assistant Customer Service Manager sent me a survey rate requesting I rate Nuryusman's level of service. It was a fill in the blanks survey, I did not fill in the blank but instead wrote an email back. This is what I wrote:

Hi Irene,

Nuryusman was courteous and pleasant over the phone. However, I wished that your customer service representatives are more empowered. I have written in to complain about my dissatisfaction on some of M1 policies.I am a user of a M1 mobile line.

The line is registered under my dad's name because I was not 18 at the time of purchase. I am 24 now. Having the line under my dad's name has posed much inconvenience to the both of us. I could not upgrade/make changes to services and plans. A letter of authorization will not suffice and my dad has to go down to M1 personally before I can upgrade my handset. It is frustrating.

Nuryusman has given me options, all of which I have considered prior to writing my first complain letter. None of which is enticing. What I am requesting is for M1 is a change in subscriber name. I want to own the line, without losing discounts and perks points.M1 does not allow me to do so. I have made it clear to M1 that I would have no qualms about switching to another mobile operator once my contract period is up. Still, M1 insisted that there was nothing they can do.

I am aghast at M1's response. It did not make me feel that M1 values me as a customer. This is the same response I get from other M1 staff. In fact, this happens everytime I want to upgrade my handset without my dad's presence.Price plans among different operators have been very competitive, I would think that one has to value customers to keep them with you.

I am still requesting for the change in subscriber's name. Irene, I am hoping that you can accede to my request.If not, please refer me to someone more appropriate. Having to wrestle with M1 over my request is tiring, and it is making me lose faith in M1.

Regards
Cindy

I have a nudging feeling nothing with happen. I hate to be ignored. Rest assured I will complain all the way up. I wonder just how arduous the process will be. It is only a matter of time that I join Singtel.